


All the Sun that Shines

by snowbryneich



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Love Triangles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:56:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8598898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbryneich/pseuds/snowbryneich
Summary: James returns from a long tour to find things have changed in the Swann Household.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All credit to sleepylotus who gave me the plot bunny for this and wanted a James/Elizabeth/Groves love triangle!

James did not mind waiting at the King’s House – he knew of course that the governor was busy and he had high hopes he might be entertained by the governor’s daughter. When he had received his step a year and a half ago he had been assigned a tour to the coast of Africa to bolster his experience. Before he had gone he had offered his sincere apologies to young Miss. Swann – she had been fifteen then and clamouring to be out. James had promised her numerous times that he would dance with her at her début based on their long acquaintance but he had known he would never return before she turned sixteen and he could not see her father holding out much longer – Miss Swann was known for being persistent. Elizabeth was seventeen now and though he had not seen her at any event in town, he was sure she was the talk of Port Royal. One way or another she usually was.

 

James had watched her cause havoc for her father and mischief in town and drive off three governesses since their arrival. But he had always had a soft spot for her and was interested to see just how she had turned out. Every time James saw a sailor with a swallow tattoo he was put in mind of the year she had turned fourteen. Her father had allowed her to accompany him on a business trip to Nassau and she had therefore achieved five thousand nautical miles. On her return, she had plagued her father that she was owed a swallow tattoo. It was an old argument and it had only been resolved previously when Elizabeth was informed that it was not quite five thousand miles between England and Jamaica. But adding the journey to Nassau and back had meant she had travelled that distance.

James had been brought in to make her see sense and he had come prepared with a dozen awful takes of infected tattoos and regrets men had had when they had marked themselves thusly. Elizabeth had not sat still for a moment of it. “Honestly, Lieutenant,” she had said. “I know my father is not going to let me get a tattoo. I want a proper horse – not a pony like a child. And my début next year – not when I am sixteen – that is an age away.”

“I see,” James had said knowing he should be appalled by her manipulation but finding himself amused by it. “Well, I wish you well with your endeavours.”

 

Her father had unusually given in on neither point – Elizabeth was not trusted to ride alone given her wild behaviour when ahorse so the pony was considered suitable and he nor would not budge on her début. Sixteen and no earlier.

Elizabeth had responded by finding some sort of herb from India that was used in tattooing and giving herself not only a swallow tattoo but a pirate brand and a compass rose and a swan. Those had just been the ones visible in her neat and proper dresses so who know what else she had gotten up to.  Thankfully these had all been painted on in Elizabeth’s own hand and no needle had been involved. So despite her father’s near fit when he saw them they had eventually washed off though Elizabeth had been in deep disgrace with her father until they did.

James was sure even if she had to be more proper in society that attending events where Elizabeth Swann was present would be a little more interesting than the normal ball and dances.

But as he had been waiting more than an hour and had seen no more than the footman who had shown him in it did not appear he would see her today. But then there was a kerfuffle at the top of the stairs and a young lady – he only belatedly realised it was Elizabeth charged down the stairs at top speed and rushed through the parlour through the French doors into the garden clearly in a temper. James had barely stood to greet her and she was gone.

 

A moment later she peeped back in the French doors – “Captain Norrington.” she said with a wary glance at the parlour door which confused him. “My apologies – I had no idea we had guests. I had heard you were back  and I would certainly have come to greet you if I had known.”

“That’s quite alright Miss Swann – I am awaiting an appointment with your father.”

“Well if I had known I would have come to entertain you at once,” Elizabeth said brightly. “Come I’ll tell the footman we’ll be in the gardens when my father is done with Mr Dawson and we can take a walk.”

This was of course highly improper – if Elizabeth was out now then they should, of course, be chaperoned but James found himself agreeing at once, almost thoughtlessly almost unable to resist. He had not expected to be so blindsided by her. Elizabeth had been a pretty child and a lovely girl though she had always been messy and when last he had seen her she had been like a fawn – awkwardly growing into her height and clumsy with it. She had been plagued with freckles and sunburnt much of the time then.

 

 A year and a half had changed her almost beyond his recognising. She was clearly a woman now, and a beauty beyond compare. She had grown into her height now, and her gown while still rather modest for a débutante made it clear she had a womanly figure now. She was laced so tightly into the gown that he was sure that he could span her waist with his hands and he found that he wanted to. Her freckles had faded entirely now – perhaps vanity had finally encouraged her to wear a hat in the sun. But her skin was pale and smooth as cream, her dark eyes as lively as ever and her hair bright and golden. James found himself having to scold himself to stop staring at her.

“I was rather hoping I would see you today,” he told her when they reached the end of the path.

“Yes,” she said. “My father never runs to time does he, I always used to entertain you. I have been hoping to see you since you got back – a whole year and a half! Captain. I suppose I should be glad you didn’t forget us entirely.”

“I could never,” James told her sincerely. “And I would like to apologise again – for missing your début. I am sure it was a grand event.”

At that, Elizabeth looked away and her face closed down, “Well in fact on that score you do not owe me an apology. I am not yet out.”

James stopped startled and felt a flush of guilt that he had so admired her when she was not yet in society which immediately felt ridiculous. This was not London -no presentation to the monarch – just a ball in most cases or a tea for the less wealthy families. Most girls were out by fifteen and Elizabeth was clearly of age to be out. But before he could ask why she was not there was a fuss from the house.

 

“Elizabeth!” A shrill voice called. “Elizabeth Swann you come back in the house this instance, you insolent chit.” James frowned – that was hardly the way for a governess to speak to her charge and when the woman caught up with them (as Elizabeth had ignored the directive entirely) James was surprised to see the caller was not a governess – she was dressed far too finely. She was a handsome woman in her middle years, her greying hair powdered and her face compressed into a frown.

“What do you think you are doing?” she demanded. “Alone in the gardens with an officer. Your father shall hear of this and no mistake, are you completely incapable of appropriate behaviour? This is why you haven’t had a début and won’t until you learn to behave.”

Elizabeth coloured a little to be spoken too so but held her head up high clearly refusing to be cowed. “Captain Norrington is a friend of the family and a long held acquaintance of father’s,” she said. “He won’t care one whit that I am alone with him so run along and tell on me if you must.”

This stopped the woman in her tracks and she looked to James then and then was stymied. It was not proper for her in to introduce herself of course so she had to wait on Elizabeth who let the moment linger.

“Captain, this is Lady Mary Swann,” Elizabeth said adding with reluctance, “My stepmother.” Her tone said everything that needed to be said about that relationship and James tried not to let his surprise show. The Governor had only been recently made a widower when they had travelled to Port Royal and had never shown the slightest inclination towards remarrying before. He bowed though which helped to hide his confusion as Elizabeth carried on formally. “Lady Mary, this is Captain James Norrington – he has command of Fort Charles and the Dauntless now and has been a friend of father’s since we moved to Jamaica.”

Lady Mary seemed to be rethinking her tone a little now in his presence and she patted Elizabeth’s arm gently. “Elizabeth, darling, how many times must I tell you to call me mother.”

Elizabeth gave her a look that was sheer poison. “At least once more, Lady Mary, as always. You are _not_ my mother.”

Before James could contribute anything further to this conversation – as if he would dare the footman appeared and told him the Governor would see him now. He made his way into the house as Elizabeth turned on her heel and fled into the gardens ignoring her stepmother’s shout.

 

The business with the Governor was brief – it was clear he had summoned James more to congratulate him on his return and the command than for any real business.

“And felicitations to you sir,” James said quietly. “On your marriage.”

“Oh um yes,” Governor Swann said. “I felt it was best you know – Elizabeth has always had a stubborn streak and I thought she might need a female hand to guide her into society.”

“Quite understandable,” James said because it was though if the scene in the garden was an indication it was also a complete failure. “I am quite glad I did not miss her début – I was quite sure I would.”

Weatherby Swann slumped – he was clearly aware of just how much his stratagem had failed. “Lady Mary does not think she is quite ready,” he said sounding doubtful. “So much energy, you know.”

“Indeed sir,” James said. And then because he did not think much of Lady Mary. “You never know,” he said. “Society can be so demanding on a débutante – it might be just what Elizabeth needs.”

Three weeks later when he received an invite to Elizabeth’s debut there was an additional note tucked inside the invite that clearly had not been penned or approved by the Governor or his wife. It was extremely brief and unsigned and yet the author was clear.

_‘My hero – thank you! Do not forget you promised me a dance!’_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth finally gets her debut.

Elizabeth was counting the days until her début ball. She had even stolen one of the invites herself which she was keeping under her pillow just to remind herself it _was_ going ahead. She had convinced her father several times she was ready to be out before Lady Mary had managed to overrule her but it had never gotten as far as invites before. Surely her stepmother could not thwart her this time. The stolen invite had been for one of Lady Mary’s dearest friends who no-one would miss except her stepmother and who cared if she did not enjoy the night.

Of course, now this was planned, Elizabeth knew the next argument would be over the gown for her début – her father had made it clear no expense was to be spared but that never stopped Lady Mary from being stingy. But she could not be too cheap – Elizabeth would have to look the part of the Governor’s only child. Lady Mary was cunning about not appearing mean and she would never do anything to defy Father directly. So, she would be stubborn on the colour or material or something else just to ruin Elizabeth’s night.

But Elizabeth was one step ahead of her and had already ordered a gown. A pale green silk robe à l'anglaise with gold embroidery over a cream stomacher and petticoat. She had had father sent the bill and was just waiting for Lady Mary to offer to take her shopping. Elizabeth had thought she would refuse to go but then she had thought it would be better to appear acquiescent. She would let her step mother take her and buy her something dreadful and complain and lose and then surprise her on the night by wearing something entirely different.  The idea made Elizabeth giddy with delight and would have her step mother in a foul temper for months.

 

After all Lady Mary was no doubt still sulking about last summer and her dreadful nephew Cuthbert, who she had invited to stay just after Elizabeth sixteenth birthday. As if it had not been enough of a punishment to delay Elizabeth’s début without having her dreadful stepfamily inflicted on her. Lady Mary clearly had her eye on Elizabeth’s dowry and had suggested several times that Elizabeth and Cuthbert would make a lovely match and spare her father the expense (and potential embarrassment) of a season given Elizabeth’s lack of propriety.

Elizabeth had reacted to this with what she considered appropriate outrage and Lady Mary had called spoilt hysterics. Her father had only married so she might have someone to manage her season and now her stepmother was proposing she be denied it and married to her weed of a nephew. Cuthbert was beyond dull, the son of Lady Mary’s youngest brother with not a penny to his name and nothing much else to recommend him either. He was short and dressed badly. And he was boorish and boring besides. He could barely read and thought overly much of himself because his grandfather was an Earl – even though there were twelve or so cousins between him and a title.

Elizabeth had pretended to be plagued with migraines for much of his visit and had told her father privately she would rather remain a spinster forever than even dance with Cuthbert let alone marry him. Her father had assured her she would not have to but had had not said as much to Lady Mary. Or to Cuthbert and it had been awful for months.

When migraines had not worked, Elizabeth had hidden one of her nightgowns in Cuthbert’s rooms when he was out drinking one night and then reported it missing to the housekeeper. When it had been found her father had been outraged and Elizabeth proclaimed she was afraid to stay in the same house as him.  Cuthbert had been packed off back to his mother’s family in the colonies and Lady Mary was still holding a grudge. She found fault with everything Elizabeth did or said or so much as thought and constantly complained about her improper behaviour.

 

As if Elizabeth did anything improper these days. Her stepmother had burned all her pirate books less than a month after marrying her father. Then she had forbidden Elizabeth the company of Mr Turner and when Elizabeth defied her, she had strapped her hand. Elizabeth had been outraged – not one of her governesses had ever raised a hand to her and she had known then she would never get along with the woman.

Nor had she been deterred from her friendship with Will but the next week when she called on Mr Turner she had been horrified to find her stepmother had complained to Mr Brown. Will had been whipped and his apprenticeship threatened if he did not remember his place.

Elizabeth had stayed away from Will after that. There was nothing her stepmother could do to make her care what the woman thought – but she would not make life difficult for Will. Nor would she forgive or forget and every time Lady Mary told her to call her mother, Elizabeth answered the same way Will always had when she asked him to be informal, so she would never forget that Lady Mary had cost her a friend.

 

Elizabeth bought new books of course and kept them hidden away and there were other ways to irritate her stepmother. Her father had given her all of her mother’s jewellery when she turned fifteen – when he thought she would be out in the next year. Before he had had the ridiculous notion to marry and give her a feminine influence.

Lady Mary hated any reminder of Elizabeth’s mother, which hardly boded well for her relationship with Elizabeth. But she was especially envious of the jewellery. Elizabeth hardly wore the jewellery before her father remarried. Every piece had a memory associated with it – for her and for her father. But she sometimes would wear it now – she wanted to remember her mother more than ever and Lady Mary was furious that the jewellery was higher quality than anything she had – the few gifts Elizabeth’s father had presented her with in their marriage were nice but nothing compared to the finest pieces of the goldsmiths in London. And Lady Mary knew it.

Once Elizabeth had come into her room to find Watts – Lady Mary’s maid going through her jewellery box. Elizabeth had pitched a fit and Watts had been dismissed but Elizabeth had never believed she had not been under instructions to do so.  She had spent three days refusing to leave her room and her father to win some peace had bought her new jewellery box that locked. He had claimed it was in case there were further issues with the servants but no-one had been fooled by that and her stepmother had been cool to him for weeks.

Elizabeth knew this upset him, her father had reminded her several times when she complained about Lady Mary that he had made a vow to her stepmother. That he had to provide for both of them. He had pleaded with Elizabeth to get along with her, reminded her how much easier it would be for her to have a season with another lady to help her.

Elizabeth ignored all of it. It was not her fault her father had made such a stupid decision and that if he had to marry someone that he had made such a poor choice. “If I ever get a season,” she had told him. “I do not want her help Father, I will manage on my own.”

 

It was what had decided Elizabeth. As soon as she was out, she would get married. Someone better than Cuthbert – a low bar to clear indeed. Someone who would make a vow to her and she would be _their priority_ and her father would be left with Lady Mary for company and much luck to him. Even the worst husband seemed like he would be an improvement on being under her stepmother’s thumb. And there was no reason to think she would have to a settle for the worst husband. She was young and beautiful and wealthy. Surely she should have her pick of men. Once men could approach her anyway.

Father and Lady Mary would be difficult no doubt. They would think her too young to be married. But if she had a proposal it would only take a little scandal and they wouldn’t have any choice but to let her be married. Yes, Elizabeth was perfectly satisfied that this was a very sound plan indeed.

 

* * *

The night of the ball came around quickly. Lady Mary’s choice of gown was as bad as Elizabeth suspected it would be. A very vivid orange velvet that certainly was fashionable but it was hideous and made Elizabeth look washed out. And prone to heat stroke – no-one wore velvet for a ball.

When Elizabeth came downstairs in her own choice of gown wearing her mother’s emerald necklace, her stepmother looked like she wanted to spit but she had to behave because her father was so touched by the sight of her in her mother’s jewellery.

“Elizabeth, darling you are a vision,” her father said coming to embrace her. He seemed a little overwhelmed as he told her. “You look just like your mother.” He kissed her cheek. “She wore that necklace for her own début you know – it was her mother’s. What a splendid notion of dressing to match it.” He turned to her stepmother. “Well done Mary, I knew you would be an unstoppable team if you worked together.” Elizabeth did not like that kind of talk at all but it was almost worth it because Lady Mary clearly did not either though she smiled sickeningly at the praise.

 

Lady Mary had at least done a decent job of decorating the ballroom. She would only force horrible colours on Elizabeth. Not on the King’s House which she was extraordinarily house proud about. Elizabeth was fussed over by her stepmother, as offers for dances were proffered nearly immediately.

Her first dance was already claimed though and Elizabeth supposed that at least one positive thing had come out of the delay – she could not have offered her first dance to a midshipman but Theo had passed his lieutenant’s exam nearly a month ago now and been promoted nearly immediately – there was nearly always a shortage of officers in the colonies. No-one could say it wasn’t appropriate for her to dance with a Lieutenant.  Elizabeth had to escape her stepmother first, though – she would chase off a mere lieutenant. Though Lady Mary would chase off all the men if she could and hate that Elizabeth was the centre of attention. Still commenting that Mrs. Prescott was absent (due to her lack of invite) certainly got Lady Mary's attention off Elizabeth and she escaped to find the Lieutenant. 

Theo led her onto the dancefloor without any indication he cared one whit that he was not considered an appropriate partner to open the ball with. Elizabeth didn’t care either. Theo had given Elizabeth his marked lieutenant’s exam to allow her to study navigation and hadn’t even cared there were several cutting remarks written on it. (Theo had passed but perhaps not with flying colours – he had a very lackadaisical approach to studying.) “So,” he said. “come on tell me – how on earth did you swing this. Last month you were crying you would be an old maid before you talked Lady Mary round.”

“Ha,” said Elizabeth. “I was not crying. I was complaining. And as if I would even try with her – I was working on my father and then your new commanding officer came round and just like that my father is convinced.” She made a face. “At least he had faith in me.” She was irritated to see that Theo was not even looking at her now – he had found Captain Norrington in the crush of the ball and was looking at him in an odd fashion. Captain Norrington was watching them dance and Elizabeth wondered if he had taken her note to think he might be due the first dance. But she had not been that specific – she hadn’t dared in case the note had been found.

“Still he must be a better commander than old Randall,” she said. “He barely showed any interest at all, in anything.” Everyone knew Captain Randall had been a drunk – on the crossing from England to Jamaica neither hide nor hair had been seen of him.

“Captain Norrington is a fair man,” Theo agreed. “But there are advantages to a disinterested commander. Miss Swann.”

“Yes,” she said with a laugh. “You will have to do some work now Lieutenant.” Theo laughed and pretended to be very hard done by for the rest of her dance.

 

Elizabeth’s next few dances were with men her stepmother steered her way and so were deathly dull. As if she wanted to marry a plantation heir or a man her father’s age or anyone who would take her to London the instant they were married which were Lady Mary’s favourite candidates. No doubt she even happily marry Elizabeth off tomorrow – even to someone decent-  if there was a chance they would leave the island as soon as she was safely wed.

Elizabeth had no intention of going anywhere. London was miserable and foggy and cold. She would stay in Jamaica – it was her home. But she danced with the men regardless, she would have to sit out her own début if she turned down dances and she was not going to let Lady Mary ruin her night.

 

It was nearly time for the supper dance when Captain Norrington finally approached her. “Captain,” Elizabeth said tapping at his shoulder with her fan. “I was beginning to think you had forgotten your promise entirely.”

“Never,” Captain Norrington told her sincerely. “I am a man of my word Miss Swann.”

Elizabeth had only meant to tease not actually accuse him. “Of course,” she said. “And I am truly grateful to you, I have no idea what you said to my father but it clearly was much more convincing than I am,” she regretted the words the minute she spoke them. Between that and the way, he had seen Lady Mary speak to her the other day he would be thinking her quite pathetic.

“I merely spoke the truth, Miss Swann. That I saw no reason why you should not be in society. But I am glad if I could help.” Elizabeth still found it a little irritating that her father had not listened to her but Captain Norrington he had been believed instantly. It was only when she saw her father watching them dance that she realised why.

Her father must have taken the Captain’s comment as interest. And clearly, he approved.

Elizabeth was not stupid. She knew very well her plan to escape Lady Mary would be so much easier if she had her father on her side. If he approved of her future husband.

She glanced up at Captain Norrington and considered him properly as a future mate. She had known him forever, he was a good man and had always indulged her growing up. And he cut a very fine figure in his uniform and was quite handsome besides. If she ignored the wig. No-one suited the wig. Of course, he might still think of her as a little girl – she had known him so long. Yet he had spoken up to her father – might she consider his wanting her to be out in society a sign of interest.

Elizabeth fluttered her eyelashes at him, “this is the dance I have most looked forward to all night,” she said leaning in to whisper confidingly. The Captain blushed a little and almost missed a step. Aha, Elizabeth thought and she smiled knowingly up at him. Yes. Captain Norrington would do very well indeed. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James tries his best to let Elizabeth enjoy her season.

James realised very quickly, he was unprepared for the force of nature that was Elizabeth Swann. From the night of her debut where every dance she shared with other men seemed to be a torment to him, and her dance with him where she had clearly flirted with him, he was unable to get her out of her mind.

He tried to tell himself it did not mean anything. She had been flirty, yes but she was young and excited to have her freedom at last. She had said she had looked forward to their dance but that could have been politeness. Or the fact he had always promised to dance with her. Or the fact he was an acquaintance and not a stranger, like most of the men who would be her dance partners. But he could not so much as close his eyes without picturing the contrast of the pale curve of her cheek and her dark lashes as she had made eyes at him. Or the scent of her hair as she had whispered in his ear. Or the fact he had let his hands drift to her waist more than once in their dance and her eyes had flashed in approval.

And when he failed on that front he reminded himself that her father was bound to approve if he asked to court her. In time. Once she had had a season and a chance to enjoy society and being the centre of attention as she should. This would give him time to work on another promotion. A commodore would be a much more appealing son in law to the Governor, James was sure. This was an imminently sensible plan. James felt that in every way Elizabeth was worth waiting for.

Though when he woke from dreams of just what it would be like to claim Elizabeth as his bride, he spent many a morning thinking over the number of prizes he had taken in Africa. He could certainly afford to take a bride. But he could not think of a way to approach her father that did not seem as if he was cutting her season selfishly short even if his rank would be considered acceptable.

 

To make matters worse, Elizabeth, it seemed had other ideas. James could not so much as blink in town without running into her. He saw her at the book shop, walking on the main street with her maid. Staring wistfully in the gold smith’s window. James wasted a good half an hour afterwards trying to work out which piece had caught her eye even though he could not buy her jewellery when he had not so much as approached her father and did not intend to. Yet.

At every event, they both attended she always kept the first dance or the supper dance for him. More than once she implied he could ask for more than one set. James was eternally tempted but remained proper with her and took a single set.

Though he could not help but notice that Lt. Groves thought nothing of dancing three dances with Elizabeth and did not seem to care at all about the gossip this caused.

There were odd gaps though in her attendance in society too. Weeks and fortnights where Elizabeth would be seen at no events at all and even if he called at the King’s House there was no sign of her.

 

This was especially unusual because normally when James had to call on her father, Elizabeth would be waiting for him before arrived offering refreshment and company until her father was available and the Governor seemed to suffer more delays than ever giving them afternoons together with only the occasional presence of a maid for a chaperone. This might have given him pause given Elizabeth’s repeated attempts to be a little improper at dances. But she was always the perfect hostess in her father’s home. She had a favoured parlour that he was shown to every time, with a selection of teas and cordials with bread and cheese and cold meats instead of the more usual biscuits and cakes. There were always sweets too but those were generally for her and he could not help but be touched she both knew and remembered his tastes.

 

* * *

One day he called in the middle of a rain storm and she came downstairs with a towel. “Goodness, how unreasonable of Father,” she said. “Summoning you out in this.” James was grateful for the towel – he had come in a carriage but just the journey from the carriage to the door had drenched him and his woollen coat was heavy with moisture.  

A maid appeared at Elizabeth bidding and she whisked away his sodden coat for drying and he felt suddenly very informal in just his shirtsleeves and waistcoat.

 

Today Elizabeth had a tea tray instead of the cordial, and a blazing fire going against the weather and the drink she poured him was a strong coffee with just a drop of milk. And he could not help but note that she remembered how he took the drink despite his time away. “I always think coffee is so much more warming that tea,” she said.

“I rather thought you preferred coffee overall,” James said, and she laughed.

“Well yes,” Elizabeth suddenly seeming bashful – James felt awful. He had only wanted to tease – she teased him all the time. “But you like tea so the coffee was to warm you – would you like me to ring for tea instead?”

“No,” James said. “You are quite right I think. I barely feel like I got caught in that rain at all.”

“You must think me silly for fussing,” Elizabeth said quietly. “You must see much worse weather at sea.”

“I thought it very kind of you to be concerned,” James said, concerned. It was not like her to be so easily subdued. “I certainly did not think to bring an oil skin for a trip to the King’s House – it is howling a gale out there and it’s some time since I’ve seen such a bad storm at sea. There was quite a bad one on the way to Africa, the mercury would have run out the glass if it could and it lasted for days.”

Elizabeth was of course immediately fascinated with this tale and James felt it could do no harm – he was not discussing battle or pirates or anything inappropriate and there had been no casualties. But he had barely started to describe the storm when they were interrupted by the lady of the house.

 

“Elizabeth,” Lady Mary said. “How many times must I make it clear that this behaviour is unacceptable.”

“Coffee and biscuits with a friend?” Elizabeth said sweetly.

“Spending your time alone with a man who is not even properly dressed,” Lady Mary scolded. “Good heaven – as if it is not enough that you run around after that lieutenant. Do you want there to be rumours about you and the Captain?” James was given an extremely rude look as if he were barely better than a lieutenant in her eyes.

“Miss Swann merely offered me some refreshments while I awaited my appointment with her father,” James said quietly. He would not be rude in return. But he was not about to sit there and let Lady Mary berate Elizabeth for being polite to him.

And before Lady Mary could say anything more a footman appeared to say the Governor was ready for him now. James found he was curiously reluctant to leave Elizabeth alone with her stepmother which was surely a foolish instinct given they lived in the same home.

“I knew it must be something urgent for him to drag you out in the rain,” Elizabeth said. “I’ll make sure your coat is taken to his study – as soon as it is dry.”

And so, James went, though he was not unaware of the rather urgent whispered argument that remained behind in the parlour and it was a fortnight before Elizabeth attended any event. He could only assume her stepmother had forbidden her attendance and he felt beyond guilty. He was not courting her because he wanted her to have a _season._ He ought to leave her be, focus on his career and once he had her father’s permission to court her, her stepmother would not be permitted to interfere.

So, James did not ask her to dance at the Prescott ball, or the Bellamy tea dance or at her stepmother’s birthday ball. That last was the hardest. Elizabeth looked miserable throughout in orange velvet that made her look pale as a ghost and James found his resolve wavering. Elizabeth vanished halfway through the night though before he had forgotten his self-imposed control. And it was only later on in the evening that he realised he had not seen Lieutenant Groves since early on either.

 

* * *

And it was not as if he did not see Elizabeth. The Governor invited him to tea and to dinner several times. Her stepmother could not disapprove of that and he was able to talk to Elizabeth in her father’s beaming presence while her stepmother smiled at them in a sickly fashion. James did not care about Lady Mary’s approval if he had the Governor’s – the woman clearly was not at all maternal towards Elizabeth.

And those were not the only times he saw Elizabeth, James ran into her in town still, walking on the beach or the cliffs – unaccompanied generally even though it was improper. James tipped his hat to her and gave her a brief greeting but no more – not when she was unchaperoned. Elizabeth reputation would not be put in danger by him. No matter what her blasted stepmother thought.

He was quite sure of this anyway until the garden party held at the Draper residence. James did not approach Elizabeth as had become his rule but he did watch her and so he noticed this time when she slipped off. He felt himself relax a little – Lt. Groves was not even here today. He was on duty at the fort supervising inventory. Which all Lieutenant’s had to take part in. James was not abusing his position. Elizabeth clearly only wanted some air.

 

But after an hour when she had not returned James went in search of Elizabeth – this was a little more than air and he was worried. He was not going to ask her to dance. He was not going to be inappropriate. He was just going to see she was alright.

Elizabeth had tucked herself into a corner of the Draper’s ornamental hedges and produced a book from somewhere and a small flask of what he could only assume were spirits. She looked both startled and guilty to see him and then shrugged and upended the flask into her mouth. She had already been caught.

“Aren’t you enjoying the party?” Elizabeth asked pointedly.

“Aren’t you?” James said gently concerned.

“Not one bit,” Elizabeth said pulling a face. “Lady Mary thinks that Mr Draper would be a perfect match now he is out of mourning. ”

“The midshipman?” James said confused. Midshipman Draper was a good enough lad but he looked fourteen even though he was nearly twenty and had yet to even consider the lieutenant’s exam as he had a horror of giving orders. Elizabeth would eat him alive.

“Dear lord no,” Elizabeth said. “His _father_. It’s what every girl dreams of – step children older than her. I have always thought my father could not have done worse than Lady Mary but perhaps I should be grateful she is at least old enough to be my moth. . .” Elizabeth cut herself off then as if she could not bring herself to say that not even in jest.

 

James stared in horror – what was Lady Mary thinking. No wonder Elizabeth was hiding. “I am sure your father would never countenance such a thing,” he said gently. “Shall we go back – if we share two dances that won’t leave you any for Mr Draper.”

Elizabeth was on her feet again in an instant. Before he knew what had hit him, she had thrown the flask at him. “Oh now you want to dance with me,” she said hotly. “Out of pity! Well no, thank you!”

“Elizabeth,” James said bewildered. “Of course I want to dance with you.”

“Really?” she said confused and he realised now she was quite quite drunk. “You don’t even want to talk to me anymore. You never dance with me.”

James had no real defence for this and if her stepmother was pushing men her father’s age at her then his notion of giving her a season of freedom seemed even more absurd.

 

Elizabeth stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest accusingly. “I don’t even know what I did wrong,” she said. “I know you liked me. And then you just stopped.” She swayed on her feet and James caught her up in his arms

“Elizabeth I have never stopped liking you,” he told her sincerely.

“Oh,” Elizabeth said in a soft voice. Then she smiled up at him, her brown eyes wide and James felt his heart skip a beat no matter how intoxicated she was – that she would smile at him so could only make him happy. “I like you too,” she said and he laughed – if he could just get her back to the edge of the party and get some coffee into her he was sure everything would be alright.

But then Elizabeth pushed him back in the hedge and for a moment he thought he had offended her all over again but then she was in his arms tilting her mouth to his and all thought of restraint was lost as the taste of her mouth and the feeling of her in his arms overwhelmed him.

She opened her mouth to him and clung to his jacket and seemed to melt against him and he held tightly to her and tangled one hand in her hair. She made a small soft noise against his mouth and James realised he could taste rum and she was drunk and if he did not pull away from her now he did not know how he would. But Elizabeth did then. Her cheeks pink and her mouth swollen from the kiss. “You do like me,” she said triumphantly. “And if you want to kiss me again you had best stop only offering me dances to save me from geriatrics!”

Then she snatched her flask from him and set off back to the party at a run, leaving James alone, stunned with want and relief and guilt. She had been drunk and upset and he had taken complete advantage of her. And he did not know if he dared find her alone to apologise – he might very well do it again.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth finds herself struggling with her options.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am alternating POV this fic is not entirely linear and some of this chapter takes places at the same time as the last.  
> And we're hitting the love triangle here :)

Elizabeth did not know where she had gone wrong with James Norrington. It had started so well and she was quite sure she had not done anything particularly improper no matter what her stepmother said.

James had even defended her against Lady Mary’s accusations of improperness. It had been nice to have someone on her side. Her father was always too busy playing peacemaker to care that his wife was doing her best to ruin Elizabeth’s life. Of course, it had not stopped Lady Mary going to her father and complaining. Her father had only been pleased with this sign of the Captain’s interest and this had made Lady Mary all the more spiteful – she had withheld Elizabeth’s invites for a fortnight again. No-one invited a debutante anywhere directly so Elizabeth could not even complain properly. The invites were addressed to Lady Mary who should, of course, want her stepdaughter in society. If she had any decency at all which she did not.

And then when she was finally allowed to attend events again. James had not shown a bit of interest at the not one but two dances which had just about made Lady Mary’s year as she sent over every old man in Port Royal to dance with Elizabeth. She could barely even catch his eye while her stepmother laughed at her behind her fan.

 

The next day at breakfast Lady Mary could not wait to gloat – not even the presence of Elizabeth’s father put her off as she waxed on and on about how sad it was Captain Norrington seemed to have lost interest. “Perhaps Elizabeth will be a little more open to my advice in future. Unless she wants to chase off more suitors of course.”

“Only if they are suitors you have chosen,” Elizabeth said buttering a bit of toast so fiercely it began to disintegrate.

“You see, Weatherby,” Lady Mary said. “The girl is impossible – she should not be out in society at all yet. You have made a rod for all our backs.”

“I am still here you know,” Elizabeth said innocently. “Perhaps I am not the only one who needs to mind my manners.”

 

Elizabeth had spent the day locked in her room for that but there were worse punishments. None of the servants had much of a liking for Lady Mary either, and they would prepare her a tray even if Lady Mary expressly forbid it. And she had half a dozen hidden books under a loose floor board. And her stepmother became more impossible to live with in her smugness that Elizabeth’s free ways had driven off a suitor. She continued to castigate Elizabeth for every bit of fun she had and putting her in the way of men Elizabeth would not marry if they were the last man in Jamaica.

 

* * *

Still, Elizabeth managed a little bit of revenge. Lady Mary had bought her the most unsuitable gown for her debut and ever since Elizabeth had not worn it Lady Mary had clearly intended to keep it for herself. When she had come down for Lady Mary’s birthday ball wearing the hideous velvet creation Lady Mary looked like she had bitten a lemon.

“Happy Birthday, Lady Mary,” Elizabeth said, sweetly handing over her present. She had bought Lady Mary a book, a collection of Shakespeare with an orange velvet ribbon marking the play Cymbeline. Elizabeth had never seen Lady Mary so much as pick up a book and so she bought her one for every occasion she was required to buy her stepmother a present. At least she was adding to the household library.

Of course, Captain Norrington was not the only officer whose attention Elizabeth had attracted. Theo Groves had been her particular friend for some time. And his father was a Baronet even if he had no chance of a title. He only had the one older brother but at last count half a dozen nephews. He claimed only paid attention to his namesake – Elizabeth had scolded him for this behaviour. “I can’t afford to spoil all of them,” he told her. “So I picked my namesake -  at least one of them likes me.” He always made Elizabeth laugh at least and he paid her attention at every event and did not fuss about rules.

Elizabeth thought he might be the only good thing about Lady Mary’s ball. If anything could be considered good about it. Even the fact that Lady Mary was too caught up enjoying her birthday to push old men at Elizabeth did not make any celebration of her stepmother enjoyable. And of course, even contemplating a dance made her feel woozy with heat. Still, it did not stop her from sharing two dances with Theo. If she did faint that would ruin Lady Mary’s night and her father would worry over her health for days which would only annoy her stepmother further.

But when Lt Groves suggested at the end of their second dance that they step out for some air, Elizabeth found that much more tempting than a fainting fit. Elizabeth told Groves to wait outside and then told a maid she had a headache and would retire early before she slipped out to join the lieutenant.

 

Groves offered his arm and Elizabeth took it and they hurried down the garden so they were utterly out of sight of the house.

“Good lord that dress is hideous.” He told her as soon as they were alone – “how did the old bat force you into it.”

“How dare you, Theo,” she said feeling especially daring and using his first name. “This happens to be the height of fashion. She bought it for me with the express purpose of claiming it herself when I refused it. So of course, I _had_ to wear it. I’m going to spill a drink on it by the end of the night and then it will be thoroughly ruined.”

“Well if I had known that was your plan I would have brought one,” Groves said with an admiring look at her décolletage, Elizabeth found herself blushing and a little nervy. Still, she had known what she was about sneaking into the garden with a man. It would have been disappointing if he had not been forward. Besides he would do just as well for her scheme she thought. Well for her purposes anyway.

 

Theo Groves was not quite as handsome as Captain Norrington. But he smiled more and was closer to her age. Her father would not approve as much of course but Theo was of a perfectly respectable family and if he might not have the best prospects just yet – he could sure make Captain. Eventually.

Certainly, if he had some influence behind him. Besides, with her dowry, they could easily manage on a lieutenant’s salary.  And Theo was irreverent and fun. If she married him she would not have to worry about how the household was run and have everything perfect. And more than all of that he _was_ interested in her.

“Miss Swann,” he said once they had found a suitable grove in which to hide. “I hope you do not think I have brought you out here with improper intentions.”

“Really,” she said cutting a glance at him. He was blushing and she found that adorable. “Then why did you bring me out here?”

“Oh hell,” Theo said and then he scandalised Elizabeth by pulling her into his arms and kissing her. Elizabeth started at first – he was not her first kiss but it was the first time she had _been_ kissed. When she was fourteen she had chased Will Turner down on the beach and pushed him down into the sand and kissed him, he had barely even kissed back he’d been so surprised. It had not seemed like much to Elizabeth at the time and she had always wondered if it would be different if she was kissed rather than doing the kissing. And it was. Theo did not just mash his lips against hers as she had with Will. It was so different to be kissed by someone who knew what they were doing, and she felt her stomach flutter a little and when he pulled away she almost protested.

“What I meant, Miss Swann,” Theo said holding her as closely as ever, “is that I am not a Captain or an appealing widower. I do not know how much of a chance I have with you. And I am sure I have no chance with your father. But I would not trifle with you like that. But I am grateful for whatever time you do spare me.”

“I think we are a little past, Miss Swann! Theo,” she scolded. “It’s _Elizabeth_ now, you let me worry about your chances with my father.” Then she kissed him again.

At the very least _if_ Elizabeth decided she would have Theo Groves for her husband and her father was overly stubborn about it, she could surely scandalise him into agreeing.

 

* * *

Her encounter with Theo certainly gave Elizabeth something to keep hold of when Lady Mary was doing her best to ruin her life. She could suggest that Elizabeth marry Mr Draper who was older than Father or bring up Cuthbert as much as she liked. Elizabeth would just think of the fact that she had gotten away with kissing Theo at Lady Mary’s birthday ball and no-one knew.

Sometimes though Elizabeth worried that it had been more the kissing that had appealed than the lieutenant himself. She still found herself thinking of Captain Norrington more than she ought if she was going to convince her father on Theo.

But what did it matter if she thought of Captain Norrington or if she would like to kiss him as well – he was not interested and Theo was. She wanted to get married _now,_ or as soon as possible anyway.

 

* * *

And then Captain Norrington had to go and make things worse. Tracking her down at the dullest party in the world when she had to avoid the ancient host who had been married three times and was determined to have a new mother for his children and her stepmother had volunteered her.

But at least Lady Mary had been going on about Mr Draper for some time so Elizabeth was pre-warned and quite prepared to make her own fun. Once she had found herself a private corner of the gardens, she could only regret that Theo was not here. She could have kissed him again.

But instead she was tracked down by her erstwhile suitor and she told him off quite thoroughly for abandoning her and then kissed him. Kissed Captain Norrington. Just when she had decided on Lt Groves. And now she had no idea who she wanted.

The kiss made something quite else clear, though. It could be just as fun to kiss someone as it was to be _kissed_ and Captain Norrington had kissed back. He had kissed her back quite thoroughly and if she still was not sure how she got the willpower to walk away. She supposed it must have been the rum. Or the fact that even if Captain Norrington had kissed back he had already made it quite clear he wasn’t interested.

Elizabeth reminded herself of that quite thoroughly that night when she had meant to sit and daydream of Theo and Captain Norrington kept intruding on her thoughts. She wasn’t entirely as she had so little practice but she suspected he might be an even better kisser than Theo, she could not stop thinking about that kiss. In fact, Elizabeth was sure she would not sleep at all, she was so caught up in the thought of them both.

 

But the next day Elizabeth chastised herself thoroughly. Captain Norrington might have kissed her back and said that he did like her. But he’d done very little to prove it. She could not choose a man who would not chase her. She might have a fight with her father but she was sure she could wrangle a proposal out of Theo with a low cut dress. The same could not be said for James Norrington. She could barely convince a single dance out of him.

Somehow the fact that Captain Norrington was such a challenge only made him more appealing and yet the afternoon she came downstairs to find him leaving her father’s study having secured permission to court her did not lessen his appeal one bit. So he did want her after all. What had he been playing at? 

Elizabeth had gone from having no potential husbands to having two. And now she did not know how to choose at all. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James attempts to properly court Elizabeth but receives some unwelcome news.

James had been relieved to find Governor Swann entirely open to his request for permission to court Elizabeth. More than open, in fact. The man had been pleased to grant him permission. He had been a little startled when James arrived without being summoned and yet somehow found the time to see him right away – unlike whenever James did have an appointment.

James could not help but feel a little guilty to have such a positive reception as the Governor rang for drinks. No doubt he would not be as welcome if the Governor knew how poorly James had treated Elizabeth at that party. James felt badly over it – even if Elizabeth had initiated the kiss she had been drunk and he had hardly discouraged her – he had kissed her back.

“I do not mean to be presumptuous sir or to impose. I know Elizabeth is newly acquainted with society and I do not mean to interfere with her introduction. But it has been implied that perhaps Elizabeth may be open to a more formal relationship.”

Lady Mary certainly wanted to marry Elizabeth off and surely she was not doing that without the Governor’s say so.

 

James carried on to making his case. He almost thought he might lose his nerve which was ridiculous – he would rather face a three-day gale and a battle “I know my circumstances, my rank  . . . are not ideal. But my career is secure and I assure you I can provide for Elizabeth in the manner to which she is accustomed. My time at sea in Africa was rewarding as you may know from the dispatches.”

“My my, Captain Norrington,” the Governor said hopefully, “are you asking for Elizabeth’s hand?”

James was startled that Governor Swann had jumped so far ahead. For one mad moment, James considered saying yes and that would be it settled. But he could think of no surer way to turn Elizabeth away entirely than trying to manage her in such a fashion.

James was not entirely sure he was forgiven for the distance he had put between them.

“That would be my aim,” James said with consideration. “I would like your permission to court her formally. And to ask for her hand in time if she is amenable.”

“Of course,” the Governor said. “Of course. Captain Norrington – I cannot think of anyone more suitable. You had us all quite worried you know – Elizabeth was quite concerned she had given offence.”

“Not at all,” James said suddenly feeling about ten years old and as if he had been called on the carpet by his own father. (This usually had been the only time James had seen his father as a boy.) “I merely wished to make certain of my own circumstance and your approval before I did anything that gave rise to expectation.”

“Of course,” the Governor said. “Well do forgive her if she is a little temperamental, I would not want you to take it to heart – it is merely the disappointment.”

James nodded – he was more than aware of that. Elizabeth had made it perfectly clear. But he hoped his declaration of intent might go some way towards earning him Elizabeth’s favour.

 

* * *

Though the next event they were both at it was clear both that Elizabeth did approve of his official request and that most of Port Royal had heard about it. Lady Mary had told everyone who would listen how she soon anticipated having Elizabeth off her hands so to speak.

James did not think his having Lady Mary’s approval would help matters but he approached none the less. Elizabeth was by her stepmother’s side for once though she normally took the earliest opportunity to abandon her and it was only when he bowed to them both in greeting, that he noticed the death grip Lady Mary had on Elizabeth’s arm. Elizabeth could hardly get away from her without making a ruckus in the ballroom. He thought from the set of her jaw, she might very be considering it. They looked an odd set Elizabeth as lovely as a spring day, in pale yellow silk embroidered with purple blooms and it was most becoming. Lady Mary had managed to find orange fabric even more vibrant than what she had presumably forced Elizabeth to wear to her birthday. It was certainly striking.

Still having made matters plain with her father James could afford to be bolder than usual. “Miss Swann,” he said. “I must speak my mind, you are by far the most lovely woman here tonight.”

Lady Mary rolled her eyes and Elizabeth jabbed her with an elbow and extricated her arm. “And you Captain Norrington are a dark horse indeed. Ignoring me for weeks and then approaching Father. I don’t know what came over you.”

“I hope you will forgive me if I wanted to proceed in a proper fashion,” James said innocently. As if she did not know what had prompted him!

“Well,” Elizabeth told him playfully. “Just this once. If you ask me to dance,”

“My very purpose in approaching you,” James said. “Perhaps tonight you might spare me two sets.”

Elizabeth laughed merrily which was somehow all the more gratifying due to the sour look on Lady Mary’s face. James really could not bring himself to have any sympathy for the woman.

“Perhaps I might,” Elizabeth said tapping him with her fan. “The first set for sure and then you can persuade me properly about another.”

 

 

* * *

Elizabeth was persuaded as it happened. At that event and many others. But she regularly granted Groves two dances as well and eventually managed to put Mr Draper off by manoeuvring around the dance floor away from him and by dancing with his son. She fluttered her eyes at the midshipman so much the boy sat out of the rest of the dance in a daze. James found it was a torment to attend events now – the dances he shared with Elizabeth were all well and good but he found himself disliking the slow burn of temper that coiled in his stomach whenever Elizabeth danced or flirted with other men. Lt Groves was the worst for he flirted back and more than once James thought he was inappropriately close to her.

Not that James could insult any man on that score, though. Not given his own behaviour at the Draper party. And every time he danced with Elizabeth he could not help but think that if he asked her to take some air with him in the gardens she was bound to say yes. Some nights she more than hinted at, commenting innocently about the crush in the ballroom. About the heat. Fanning herself incessantly even on cool nights. James encouraged her to sit and fetched her a glass of cool cordial.

James was aware as well that Lt Groves was not as scrupulous as he was. They had vanished together on more than one occasion – only once at a ball where he was present. He had inadvertently insulted Elizabeth by offering to speak to her father on her behalf after watching yet another altercation with Lady Mary. He had only meant to be helpful but Elizabeth had been visibly upset, which she had hidden in a temper and denied him a second dance before granting Groves three.

James had only been reminded again of her youth.  Perhaps he had taken this a step too far. And then, of course, she did not appear for weeks having earned her stepmother’s wrath all over again. The next event Elizabeth appeared at was a garden party – there were no dances and she sat by Lady Mary and seemed entirely subdued and made only polite small talk no matter how he tried to draw her out. So he was surprised two days later when he received an invite to tea. Very improperly it was directly from Elizabeth and not from her father or stepmother.

 

He had accepted anyway of course. James was not about to pass up a chance to see her and have no competition for her attention.

Elizabeth was flighty and distracted on the day and surprised him all over again by apologising for their quarrel. “My father – he believes Lady Mary is doing her best for me,” she said. “And trying to convince him otherwise only seems to upset him. He only married her for my sake, you see.” She shrugged. “I am quite able to manage her – you mustn’t worry about me.”

“I can promise no such thing,” James said. “I do worry about you Miss Swann because I care for you very much. But I will not speak to your father if you do not wish it.”

“Do you?” Elizabeth said suddenly. “Care for me?”

“ _Elizabeth_ – of course, I do,” James said startled into using her first name.

“Really,” she said. “That’s the first time you’ve called me by my name. And you’ve never kissed me. I had to kiss you.”

James tried to think of a way to react to being considered uncaring because he had treated her with the respect she was due that would not upset her further. And he knew very well whose fault it was that she apparently associated such improprieties as kisses a significant part of courtship. He was to blame. Or at least partially so.

“Elizabeth, if when I ask, you agree to grant me your hand, I promise I will kiss you all you want. Until then I cannot apologise that I have not taken liberties with your person or made free with your affection.” James had felt guilty in the past that he had not apologised for his improper treatment of Elizabeth. He could not believe he was having to explain why it had not reoccurred.

“When you ask,” Elizabeth said suddenly flushed. “Not if?”

James had given himself away there but now that he had he felt he must be honest with her. “Yes,” he said. “Not if. Unless you should give me some indication that it would be unwelcome it is when. I always intended to ask for your hand, Elizabeth. You are a fine woman. I care for you a great deal. It Is why I have always treated you properly.”

Elizabeth only seemed to get more distressed by this and James wondered if he had misread the situation entirely.

“I should advise you not to ask,” she said, after a long moment. “You are not my only suitor and the others were not so respectful.” For a moment James didn’t know what she meant and then he realised and felt a sudden burst of anger at the idea. “I don’t mean respectful,” she clarified as if understanding his expression. “Just less proper and I found it all so flattering. I got carried away. But society would not consider me a fine woman if I was found out. And I am afraid that neither would you.”

James did not know how to react to this – there was a moment of relief that nothing had been forced on her. And he knew he should admire her honesty – she did not have to tell him. Yet the idea stung. That she had had her head turned so easily. And he could not help but burn with jealousy. He was silent for a long moment not trusting himself to speak. She was entitled to choose someone else – he would never wish to trap her. But Elizabeth did not seem to be saying that and she looked quite hopeless the entire time. And then something else occurred to him. “You said _should_. You should advise me not to ask. Not that you do not want me too.”

“Yes,” she said. “I know it is my own foolishness but I would like not to be condemned for one mistake.”

“I would never condemn you,” he said gently. God knows that he had made his own share of foolish mistakes at seventeen.

But he had not really answered what she was asking. And before he could her stepmother’s voice cut through the hall. “Elizabeth! Elizabeth where are you – we have an appointment for a dress fitting.”

“You should go,” she said quietly. “I did not ask permission to invite you to tea. If she catches us alone she might attempt to force you to take me. She is getting quite desperate to be rid of me. Thank you for being so understanding, James.” She kissed his cheek, fled the parlour and left James to show himself out.

 

* * *

James spent three days lost in his own thoughts. Elizabeth was young and excitable, he did not blame her for whatever choice she had made. They were not engaged, she did not owe him anything. And if he could not get past it, he could not ask her to marry him. He could not marry her if he was going to resent her for it. That was not fair. And he found himself not caring if she was a virgin. Yes, he had considered – more than considered the idea of showing Elizabeth just how it could be between a man and woman. But he was not so hypocritical to think of a woman as ruined forever because she had made an impulsive choice in the heat of courtship.

He found his main concern would be that he was Elizabeth’s second choice. That whoever had persuaded her into rashness had not followed this through with the offer it should have generated. Or that they had not met with approval by her father. He was more than aware of whom the prime candidate would be and James could not imagine a lieutenant – newly promoted at that – would be in the Governor’s good graces. His patience with Elizabeth did not extend to Theodore Groves and if it would not ruin Elizabeth's reputation entirely he would have called the boy out already. Especially if he had seduced and abandoned her - Lt. Groves was going to have a very difficult time indeed. James wanted to marry Elizabeth no matter what she had done. But only if she truly wanted to be his wife and was not caught up in desperation by circumstances.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth realises she may not have made the right choice.

It rapidly became apparent that Elizabeth appeared to have to two suitors in name only, James was ever so proper. All the time. All that permission to court her seemed to entail was the occasion more sincere compliment and an extra dance. He ignored point blank all of her hints. Which were numerous.

It puzzled her beyond belief – she only had to wave her fan slightly energetically around Theo and he was offering to take her for some air or a tour of the gardens of a house she probably knew better than he did. Not that they ever saw much of the gardens. Only enough to find a quiet shaded spot out of the sight of prying eyes. Sometimes it took them some time to find somewhere but Elizabeth took it as a good sign, Theo did not already know every private spot in the gardens of Port Royal. Or if he did he was very good at pretending which made it almost certain he didn’t because he was a useless liar and only the fact that Lady Mary had honed Elizabeth’s skills at putting on a proper front prevented them from being caught.

But somehow no matter how many times she kissed Theo Groves – more than she could count for sure, she could not help but think of that kiss she had shared with James. It made his false interest even more frustrating.

 

Of course, it was clear why James had seen her father when he clearly wasn’t interested in her personally. Everyone was sure he would be a commodore soon enough with her father’s influence behind him. And James might not need her dowry but no-one would turn their nose up at it. And on a slightly less mercenary note they had known each other for years. Everyone said it would be a smart match. And she tried to tell herself she should be satisfied with that. A smart match would get her out of her father’s house and out of Lady Mary’s reach. Lady Mary told her every day she should thank her lucky stars she was her father’s daughter and well dowered or Captain Norrington would not have looked twice at her.

“After all,” Lady Mary sniffed. “If your father is to be believed you’ve been behaving abominably around the Captain for years. Perhaps he is not as well off as he would have people believe if he’s willing to take you. Many military men have vices? Does he gamble or visit bawdy houses?”

Elizabeth did not believe James did either of those things. He disapproved of gambling she knew – too many men had ruined themselves over a card game. Naturally, she had had no opportunity to gather his opinion of houses of ill repute if he had that sort of issue surely he would have at least tried to kiss her again. Theo had progressed to roaming his hands over her whenever they kissed and the last time they had been alone, he had tried very hard to persuade her to adjust the neckline of her gown by kissing down her neck and promising that if she just let him, he promised she would enjoy it very much.

Elizabeth had said no – she had not had nearly enough punch to allow that sort of behaviour but she was beginning to think she might as well let him. She might as well enjoy some passion before she and James made a marriage of convenience.

Because that was the rub. As long as, James was interested there was no way her father would let her marry Theo. A lieutenant when she could have a Captain? It was hopeless.

 

Lady Mary had gotten worse too. She could not stop Elizabeth granting dances to those she wanted to but she had taken to keeping a firm grip on her so that she must dance with the doddering old fools that Lady Mary wanted to push her at. There was only so much fuss Elizabeth could make in public and she was sure Lady Mary delighted in leaving bruises. Not that Elizabeth ever let on it hurt. She would rather die than admit a moment’s weakness to Lady Mary.

The woman was just bitter, Elizabeth thought. This was her third marriage and Elizabeth’s father was the closest she had come to a husband her own age. Just because her family had pushed her into marrying a man old enough to be her father when she had her season, she wanted to do the same to Elizabeth.

 

And then to make matters worse James who managed to ignore all her hints, continued to notice how Lady Mary treated her. He offered to intervene with her father, who no doubt would only be offended by the notion that Mary did not have her best interest in mind.

Her father might even be so offended to withdraw his permission and that would clear the way for Theo. Yet that only occurred to her later – at the time she could only think that perhaps James pitied her. He had seen more of Lady Mary’s less motherly behaviour than anyone but the staff. That was worse that being a smart match she thought and she denied him the second dance she had promised him and gave it to Theo instead. On top of the two, she had granted him already that night.

When Theo persuaded her into the garden that night Elizabeth was much more amenable to his suggestions.  She was already familiar with how good his mouth could feel on her skin – but it did not prepare her at all for the feel of his mouth on her breasts. She did little more than lie there and enjoy it. She only finally protested when his hands not only wandered to her skirts but began to pull them up. There were some limits. Though if she let him ruin her entirely her father would have to let him marry her.

But now Elizabeth was not sure she wanted that either.

No matter how many times she snuck off with Groves and how distracting he was she found herself thinking of that one kiss with James Norrington.

It was enough to make her feel there was some truth in Lady Mary’s words when she insisted Elizabeth was contrary.

Then to make it worse – when she had finally decided that that was the best approach all round and had found herself alone in her own gardens with Theo fortified by some of her father’s best brandy and as much rum punch as Theo could fetch her. Theo had his hand on her bare thigh which was a strange yet pleasing thing indeed. They were both laughing and then kissing and then his hand went higher and his mouth was on her neck and she moaned and then all of a sudden, he stopped. Elizabeth blinked up at him suddenly unsure. “Elizabeth,” Theo said awkwardly. “I think perhaps you have had a bit too much to drink.”

Elizabeth withdrew hurt. She was not drunk. Not that drunk. She had been this drunk before and Theo hadn’t cared. He was busy rearranging her dress and she slapped his hands away to tidy her neckline herself.

“I see,” she said in a small voice and Theo drew her into his arms and kissed her hair.

“I am sorry my darling,” Theo said. “I would not ever want to do anything you might later regret.”

Then he insisted she head into the house – they always went back separately so they would not get caught together. Elizabeth had never been more glad to be at an event at home – she found her father told him she felt faint and fled the party to sulk in her room.

Now even Theo had gone off her! What was she doing wrong?

 

* * *

It was a week before she got an explanation off Theo. They were both entirely sober at a garden party and Theo asked her to walk with him around the outskirts of the gathering. Enough to be out of earshot but not actually alone. He did not get much of a chance to say much, though. Elizabeth had had enough.

“Well?” she said. “Come on then. What is wrong with me now. First the Captain and then you. If Lady Mary had any money I would think she was bribing you so I am miserable.”

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Theo said. “And if you think Captain Norrington is not interested you should think again – I see the way he glares at me when he can get away with it.”

Elizabeth blushed and said nothing. It was not right to tell Theo she liked the captain. Or to feel so hopeful at that news.

“I did not mean to imply I was still interested in him,” she said quietly.

“You didn’t need to,” Theo said and he did not sound so cheerful as he usually did. “The other night . . . you called me James.”

Elizabeth did not even understand at first – she had not called him anything, she did not even remember saying anything just distracted entirely by his touch. Then she remembers she had been moaning and she must have said James’ name instead of Theo. She stopped dead. Theo had had his hand up her skirt and she had called him another man's name. She had never felt more mortified in her entire life and Theo looked worried.

“Oh,” she said. “I am so sorry, Theo. Lord what must you think of me.”

“Oh the same as always,” Theo said with truly heroic false cheer. “I never expected to be first choice, Elizabeth. You should speak to him – if he is truly not interested I will approach your father. I know I owe you that much. But I don’t truly think it will be needed.” He bent and kissed her hand and excused himself.

Elizabeth spent the rest of afternoon flustered and lost in thought. Theo had been much more gracious than anyone had any right to expect. And shamefully, Elizabeth was not considering how gracious he was. She was wondering if he was right about James Norrington. She sat by her stepmother and could not bring herself to speak more than polite nothings to James Norrington. This was his fault for being so damn unreadable in the first place.

 

Of course, she regretted that later – though she could hardly have asked him if he did in fact like her at a garden party. Well not if she wanted any privacy for it as Lady Mary had already looked askance at her conversation with the Lieutenant. Elizabeth waited a whole day before deciding she could not wait until she ran until into James Norrington at the next event they both attended and hope she could steal a private moment. She instead invited him to tea. The next day without even a consideration of how this would fit in with whatever Lady Mary had planned.

And even though he came that didn’t help either – she could not ask him he did want to marry her – he could say yes to that for lots of reasons. She wanted to know if he _wanted_ her.

Instead, she brought up the quarrel they had had. She was sorry – mostly that she had lost her temper. James wasn’t to know she was used to managing Lady Mary in her own way.

And when she did finally manage to seize an opportunity to ask his answer was only depressing. He was so proper. He was telling her he wanted to marry her because he wanted her but she could tell almost instantly he wouldn’t. Not truly. Not if he knew how she had been behaving when he thought even a kiss was improper before an engagement.

James was very kind when she made her confession. He did not condemn her. But she was quite sure she had ended that interest and would have to try and convince Theo that he should propose even though he would always feel he was her second choice.

Because Theo was. She knew that now. It had been so easy to persuade Theo into anything she wanted so she had gone along quite merrily knowing James would not put up with any of it. Thinking that meant he didn’t want her, rather than he respected her. But it didn’t change that she wanted James. And now she knew she couldn’t have him she wanted him more than ever.

Elizabeth drifted through the house in a miserable sulk for a week. Not even Lady Mary’s digs, hurt at the moment. Elizabeth could not bring herself to care about anything she said or attend any event pretending at megrims and female troubles and complaining of the heat. She avoided conversations by picking up ladylike habits that Lady Mary normally had to force her too – though it only took a day before she abandoned sewing for music and spent her days at the pianoforte practising extensively. Of course, the instant Lady Mary appeared she switched to practising her scales. She was not playing for her step mother’s enjoyment.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lt. Groves tries to give James a clue much to Elizabeth's eventual joy.

James found it hard to keep his duty in mind when dealing with a certain lieutenant, to begin with. He would not abuse his position and the lieutenant had been doing nothing wrong by having an interest in Elizabeth as little as James liked it. He could hardly blame the man for wanting her. He understood that all too well. He could, however, blame Groves for the way he had treated her. Paying her more attention that was truly proper to start with and then ruining her.

James had settled for assigned Groves duties out of his sight for the most part. They were not inappropriate for a newly promoted lieutenant and so he had not abused his authority or had to deal with his rival.

Which was why now, now when he did have a reason to have words with the lieutenant. When he wanted more than ever to remind Groves of his obligation as an officer to behave as a gentleman yet didn’t dare because he did not trust his own temper and an altercation could easily reflect poorly on Elizabeth. He could not seem to escape the man.

Groves was not shirking his assigned duties – they were always done. But he had either become remarkably efficient or more likely he was using his glib tongue to persuade the midshipman into extra duties. After all, James had ample evidence the man was persuasive.

And now he just seemed to appear whenever James was appraising a drill or inspecting repairs. Apparently, he was also remarkably observant.

 

In the end, James bowed to the inevitable. Perhaps Groves had not proposed to Elizabeth as he should because he feared it would impact his career which would then impact his ability to support a wife. Many men might be so petty. It did not excuse his appalling behaviour towards her but James would confirm he would not behave in such a manner. As long as Groves treated Elizabeth correctly – more correctly than he had currently James would wish them well.

So, he let the loitering lieutenant catch and tried to hide his own irritation at the man’s perpetually deceptive wide-eyed innocence.

“Sir might I ask your advice,” Groves said forcing James to agree and to still hope rather futilely it was a military matter he wanted to discuss.

It was not.

“Sir I may have behaved in a way that has led a young lady to have expectations of an offer,” Groves said. James found it very difficult to not grind his teeth. “An offer I would be glad to make,” Groves hastened to add perhaps reading James’ expression more accurately than he usually did. “But I have also been made aware she would prefer an offer from another direction.” James looked up sharply then. “I am wondering how long I should wait for her other suitor to realise where her attention lies before I fulfil my obligation.” Not even Groves could look innocent with that statement and James nearly held his breath refusing to look hopeful in front of the man.

“I suppose,” James said finally. “It would depend on how certain you were of her opinion. It would not do to desert a girl based on an assumption if you have given her reason to hope.”

“I am beyond certain,” Groves said and for the first time he sounded a little bitter and if James could not bring himself to feel sorry for him – he could at least understand the man’s loss.

“I should not think you should have to wait much longer,” James said with a nod and excused himself.

He got no work done that afternoon confused by that talk. It had seemed like the lieutenant had meant to taunt him at first but then he had been trying to help. It seemed however improperly he had treated Elizabeth he had wanted her happy and James tried to force himself to think well of him for that.

But he couldn’t really. He was too baffled by Elizabeth. Of course, if any young lady was to give herself to one man and then tell him that she preferred another it would be Elizabeth. She had always been impulsive and she had been so convinced he did not want her. James had not flattered himself before that had been why she had done something foolhardy but with what Theo Groves had told him. . . He would speak to her immediately.

Well as soon as he saw her which turned out to be a trickier prospect than James realised. Elizabeth had been at hardly any events since she had made her confession.

 

Three days later he was beyond relieved to be summoned by the Governor and though Elizabeth did not come and entertain him this time – he could hear her practising the piano quite furiously in the downstairs parlour. And as her father was as ever running late, he found himself watching from the doorway.

“Bravo,” James said when she finished the piece – she looked wrung out by it – she had always played with more emotion than precision. “Is that a preview of what we can expect at Lady Bellamy’s musical revue?”

“No,” Elizabeth said shortly, not even looking at him. “Lady Mary has declined that invite I believe. And all the others. I had a megrim when she invited Mr Draper for tea and she thinks I was faking.”

“Were you?” James said – this conversation was not going at all how he had hoped it might and he wondered if he was a fool to trust the lieutenant’s judgement. After all, he had known Elizabeth much longer and had no luck in puzzling out what she wanted. Why should Groves be any better at that because he had convinced her into impropriety?

“Of course I was faking,” Elizabeth said. “I cannot scare Mr Draper away with honesty. I do not trust to his discretion. I have to use other methods.” And then James understood her temper and felt a burst of guilt and relief all at once. He hated that she had fretted over him.

 

“You did not scare me away with honesty,” James said deciding to push on. “I admit you gave me something to think on but I have decided that I am not going to take your advice.”

Elizabeth stopped banging away the piano and turned to him her face lit with hope. It buoyed James measurably to see her look happy.

“You aren’t?” she said strangely shy.

“No,” he said. “You said that I would not consider you a fine woman because of what you said. But you were wrong. You are the finest woman I have even known and nothing – _nothing_ – could change that.”

Elizabeth threw her arms around him and he swung her around with a laugh – she was so slight he could scoop her off her feet with ease and he relished the feel of her in his arms. It was a wrench to set her back on her feet. “I promise I will not let you down,” she said. “I will be a fine woman – for you.” But she paused then suddenly a little unsure and as much as James had declared his intent he had still not asked.

“Elizabeth, do not dare change.” He said. “I want you for my wife just as you are.”

“Well I will hold you to that,” Elizabeth said sounding a little struck with wonder, her dark eyes bright with happiness and a mischevious smirk on her face. Then she put one hand to his face and pulled him down to kiss her. James only let that go on for a moment – he could bring himself to break the kiss straight away but they were not truly alone.

Elizabeth pouted at him. “You promised,” she said. And he had – he realised. He had promised that if she granted him her hand he would kiss her all she wanted. How presumptuous of him. They would be properly chaperoned once they were officially engaged and Elizabeth would chafe against that no doubt.

“Once I have spoken to your father and have his blessing,” James said.

“My father would give you a dozen blessings,” Elizabeth said. “But Lady Mary will never leave us alone until the wedding day when she is forced to when she hears that I am engaged despite all her naysaying so if you are going to kiss me it had better be now.”

Elizabeth was not wrong and James had had enough of being cautious and pulled her against him this time and kissed her thoroughly. Her lips were soft and when she melted against him, James nipped gently at her lower lip startling a soft gasp out of her. If this was the only kiss they would get to share until they were married James meant to make it memorable. He was careful not to let his hands wander. The last thing he wanted was Elizabeth thinking he would treat her improperly because of her confession or that he was owed anything.

James would wait until she was his wife and he could make love to her the way she deserved – in their bed in their home on fresh soft sheets where he could make her peak again and again and forget whatever fumbling experience she had hidden in the garden at a party.

They are caught in the end by a footman – at least it was not Lady Mary – sent to tell James the Governor would see him now. Elizabeth was still bright and bubbly with happiness and James thought he may be grinning like a schoolboy himself.

“Shall we tell him together?” he asked and offered her his arm as they go to ask her father’s blessing.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Since she and James had received her father’s blessing, Elizabeth had realised two things. Firstly – that being engaged was wonderful. Her father barely had them chaperoned and scolded Lady Mary whenever she fussed about it – he was too happy she was settled to care about propriety and he trusted James Norrington. Secondly – planning a wedding was dull dull dull! Guest lists and menu choices and a dozen arguments with Lady Mary about flowers. Elizabeth did not even care about flowers but it was her wedding, not Lady Mary’s. The woman had had three of her own – surely that was sufficient for anyone.

Elizabeth did not care about fabric or place settings or flowers but she was damned if she was going to let Lady Mary have all her own way. Elizabeth had found a sure way of annoying her stepmother in her choices. She looked at whatever the option was and picked the most expensive thing. Her father didn’t mind at all – no expense was to be spared. Lady Mary did not feel the same. She had always resented anything he spent on Elizabeth which was just out of meanness – it was not as if it came out of her allowance.

And if Lady Mary did quibble about anything, Elizabeth had taken to saying she had promised James she would do it that way. That roses were his sister’s favourite flower, that yellow was his mother’s favourite colour and she wanted to include them in the ceremony in some way as they could not attend. James always agreed bemusedly if questioned by Lady Mary. All he wanted was for Elizabeth to have her own way. And her father would not countenance her wearing any colour but blue which spoiled Lady Mary’s fun – not a hint of orange at all. Elizabeth felt a little guilty at the notion – she could wear a different colour and there would not be too much gossip, not if it just looked like she had picked another colour because she wanted to. Though there was not a hint of gossip that she should not wear blue – Lady Mary would never have stopped crowing about it if there was a single whisper that Elizabeth was ruined.

Then Lady Mary had got the idea that perhaps they should postpone the wedding. So, that James’ family could attend. This was just spite and an attempt to catch Elizabeth out because she wanted Elizabeth out of her house as much as Elizabeth wanted to be out. And not just to get away from Lady Mary now. She wanted to be James’ wife more than anything.  But Elizabeth could hardly refuse – what if James wanted his family there? Elizabeth could not imagine not getting married without her father there.

 

Lady Mary invited James for tea and Elizabeth sat nervously surrounded by ribbon and flower samples and a selection of cakes made by the cook.

“Captain,” Lady Mary said slyly. “It seems to me it is entirely unfair that we have not allowed you sufficient time to invite your family. If we should delay the wedding until October that should be ample time for them to attend should it not?”

October, Elizabeth thought gloomily. The rainy season, of course, and months away.

“It is kind of you to think of them Lady Mary,” James said. “But I fear my sister’s husband would object to the notion – she is currently with child and neither of my parent’s health would advise a long sea journey.”

He reached for Elizabeth’s hand. “And if even if they could not attend. I fear I could not countenance waiting until October. I am quite content with the date the Governor had set.” The subtle reminded that Elizabeth’s father had booked the church for a month’s time was not appreciated by Lady Mary, who spent the afternoon looking like she had sucked on a lemon. Not that this was unusual. And then she went off to be difficult with the housekeeper because she had not gotten her own way and Elizabeth took the opportunity to persuade James to walk in the garden with her.

“I would not have wanted to wait until October either,” she told him the minute they were properly alone – barring an interruption by the gardener. “But I would if you wanted your family here – James. I promise.”

James drew her close and she thrilled at the nearness of him. “You are my family now, Elizabeth,” he told her. “Perhaps not officially until next month. But in every way that matters.”

Elizabeth walked beside him and tucked herself into his arm, she was so touched that she did not even try and demand kisses. It was only a month and she would be able to kiss James as much as he wanted. As well as do everything else.

 

Of course, Lady Mary had done her best to ruin that too.

She had sat Elizabeth down to have a talk now she was engaged. Elizabeth had tried her best to demur. “It is quite alright, Lady Mary,” she had said with more than a hint of panic. “Miss Spencer explained everything to me when I became a woman.” And, of course, her time with Theo had certainly provided supplementary lessons.

Lady Mary only sniffed. “As if a governess can explain anything Elizabeth – she was only in that position because she couldn’t snag herself a husband. You do not want to go to your marriage bed ignorant, do you?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said forthrightly. “I do not want to discuss this with you Lady Mary – you are my father’s wife I do not want to think about that. James can explain anything I do not understand.”

“Certainly not!” Lady Mary said. “He could convince you any amount, of improper things, are suitable for the marriage bed if you are not adequately prepared – he is in the military – he could have any number of vices.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes – not this again.

“Now it will hurt the first few times you do your duty,” Lady Mary said smugly. “That is unavoidable – and there will be blood. But it is best not to fuss – men don’t like that. All you have to do is lie very still and part your legs and let him have his way – if you cry a bit it might get you some respite but most men are very insistent with a new bride – very demanding. You should expect to put up with it nightly – at least until the first child. Even men of your father’s age will expect satisfaction several times -  ”

Elizabeth felt ill even though she did not want to believe Lady Mary about any of it and she did not want to hear about her father. “I would rather let James do a dozen improper things to me _right now_ than listen to a word more of this,” Elizabeth said getting to her feet. “Good day, Lady Mary.” She fled the room and felt ill all afternoon.

Lady Mary was a liar. Her father was not the sort of man who would be demanding of a wife just because he had a right too. And it was not just lying there and letting men have their way. Elizabeth was sure of that much even if she should be ashamed of herself for knowing that much.

 

Lady Mary could not even complain to her father that she had been rude without explaining why so Elizabeth did not even get in trouble. And she made sure to never be alone with her stepmother after that. Even Lady Mary would not be so crude to bring up such matters in front of a maid or in front of James himself who was invited for dinner nearly every night in the run up to the wedding. One night after such a dinner she had walked James to the door and given him a very chaste kiss on the cheek. It was only a week now and she was surprised when she turned to see her father watching her. She felt relieved she had only kissed James on the cheek. “Hello Father,” she said. “I was just seeing James off,” she said.

“I see that,” he said. “It’s been pleasant to have him join us, don’t you think? I was thinking it might be something we could keep up after you are married. Not every night of course but perhaps once a week.” Her father seemed very unsure and Elizabeth paused. In truth, the dinners were not so bad. Lady Mary was never as bad in front of her father, and of course, James and her father got along splendidly as always.

Perhaps Elizabeth had made it a little too clear how much she looked forward to moving out. Her father sounded so nervous. As if he would never see her again once she left his household. “I think that sounds a pleasant notion,” she said. “Perhaps once I have had a little practice at hosting I might even dare invite you and Lady Mary to dine with us.”

Her father deflated a little further. “Elizabeth,” he began and now she felt bad.

“I am only teasing, Father,” she said. “Of course, I will be glad to host you and Lady Mary when I have a household of my own.”

“You are a good girl, Elizabeth,” her father told her kissing her cheek. “I am very proud of you.”

Elizabeth probably did not deserve that but it made her happy anyway. And she would make him proud from now on.

 

* * *

The wedding day was bright and sunny which was nothing unusual in Port Royal but Elizabeth takes as a good sign regardless. She was up early for once excited and bright. In just a few short hours she would be free of Lady Mary – oh she would have to see her of course. If she wants to see her father. But she won’t live in her house. Be under her domain. She would be mistress of her own household and James’ wife and woman in her own right and free to do what she liked. James had said so.

Still, she was not wed yet and she was laced into the corset and dress and primped and made to look perfect. Her hair tortured into perfect curls with a curling iron as if it’s natural curl was not sufficient.

She wears a simple sapphire necklace that belonged to her mother and her silk dress was the colour of palest sea foam. She thinks it looks well though it irritates her a little that she was forced to spent six weeks choosing a menu and would be able to eat about two bites of it, she’d been so tightly laced into her gown.

Even Lady Mary could summon up no criticism of her for once which was probably the highest compliment Elizabeth had ever been paid by her stepmother. And her father could barely speak at the sight of her. “You are the very vision of your mother,” he managed eventually which earns her a glare from Lady Mary. Elizabeth was even more glad to not be coming back here tonight.

 

But Lady Mary behaves through the ceremony – as far as Elizabeth knows anyway. She only had eyes for James from the moment her father walks her down the aisle to exchange vows with him. Elizabeth did not know how she ever doubted his feelings for her – now she could see it perfectly in his green gaze. And when he leads her out of the church as Mrs Norrington, Elizabeth feels giddy in a way that was not because she could barely breathe.

James spends half the wedding ball, telling her how beautiful she was. They have been toasted and toasted and her father had managed to source both champagne and French brandy despite the current hostilities. Elizabeth did not think any of it could get her drunk because she was intoxicated by James and his presence and her freedom.

 

Lady Mary even behaves at the ball - mostly, she was, of course, wearing blue as well – which Elizabeth assumed was to try and show her up. But at the celebration when she was in light blue and Lady Mary and her father are in dark blue and it makes them almost look a family. And perhaps Elizabeth thinks it was not entirely out of spite. When it comes time for Elizabeth and James to get in the carriage and leave, her father only embraces her having no words left. But Lady Mary nods. “It’s a very smart match, Elizabeth – I’m pleased for you.” So, Elizabeth embraces her too briefly too incandescent with happiness to resent even Lady Mary.

“Thank you for all your help,” Elizabeth said. “Look after Father for me!”

It was the friendliest exchange they have ever had but then James extended his hand to help her into the carriage and she grasped it easily eager to start her new life as Mrs Norrington.


	9. Chapter 9

The carriage ride from the King’s house to his residence seemed the longest of James’ life. Elizabeth held tightly to his hand the entire time as if she could not bear to be parted from him. She was watching him her dark eyes wide and seemed unusually shy for all she had not stopped smiling since they had stepped out of the church. And James was certain of that because he had not been able to take his eyes of his new bride from the instant she had stepped into the church and been given into his keeping by her father.

The shyness worried him – had her previous experiences been unpleasant? She did not seem to resent Groves though she had been very circumspect in his presence which James had assumed was for his benefit, they had teased each other a little and Groves had had the sense not to ask for a dance but had sincerely offered them both congratulations and told Elizabeth he had never seen a more beautiful bride without a hint of bitterness. It was well done – James would grant him that and his attendance would ensure a lack of gossip if his previous inappropriate behaviour toward Elizabeth had been noted.  He hoped she did not feel pressured by expectations on his behalf.

 

* * *

James carried Elizabeth over the threshold and she clung briefly even once he set her on her feet. “Would you like a tour of the house?” he asked. James had lived here for all of a week, having finally moved from the officer’s quarters now he had a reason.

“No,” Elizabeth said, then blushed. “Perhaps in the morning when the light is better,” she offered, her cheeks pink as if trying to justify her eagerness.

“Thank god,” James said, with feeling. He had no desire to wander about the house. He would perhaps not have been so forward but as endearing as he finds the blush, he would not have her feeling guilty for being keen. Especially given her earlier confession of not being a fine woman by societies standards. He did not want that playing on her mind. He did not want her to think he would be disappointed by not having a virgin bride. “Would you like to see your room?”

Elizabeth nodded and seized his hand dragging him to the stairs. “Or yours,” she said clearly buoyed by his words. He laughed and pulled her close to kiss her again and scooped her off her feet to carry her upstairs. He did not want to let her go even once he had carried her into her new room, hoping it meets with her approval. He had given her the master bedroom that in most households would be his. But it had the best view and he rather hoped they would not be too strict on keeping separate rooms. James knew now he should have given her some privacy, let her have a moment. Leave her in peace to collect her thoughts or call for her maid – to prepare herself but for all he knew that he did not. He could not fathom walking away from her.

 

James kissed her the instance he set her down and from that moment he was lost, more drunk on her than any of the French liquor his father in law had provided for the celebration. It was her who broke the kiss and he prepared to apologise for his forwardness. He did not mean for her to think he would have less consideration for her. But as soon as she pulled away from him she said – “unlace me?” and steered his hands to the ribbons of her gown and that drove the thought of apology – the thought of anything else but _her_ , utterly out of his mind.

It was hardly a chore to play maid and he complied at once. But he was more enthusiastic than expert and there was so much to it, the gown had dozens of tiny hooks _and_ buttons as well as the laces.  Probably Lady Mary had arranged that he thought darkly and when he had gotten her out of that – her corset required yet more lacing. It was drawn so tight, his hands spanned her waist as he had once thought they would but it did not look comfortable and her sigh of relief when it was removed made him rather less fond of the garment than the sight of her in might have encouraged. Then he came to what seemed like extremely excessive layers of petticoats and he was sure he would never have her undressed. But then he was down to the very last petticoat and his hands shook a little then Elizabeth stood before him in nothing but a simple chemise and a pair of silk stockings. She was biting her lip and her bright hair was falling out of her elaborate hairdo where he had rumpled her with his kisses and poor skills with women’s clothing.

James thought for perhaps the hundredth time she had never looked more beautiful. He had thought so on the day he had seen her again, all grown up. Dozens of times at parties. Again, when he proposed – on at least four separate occasions today and now again. He was sure if he removed the chemise he would think it all over again but as caught up as he was James managed to have the self-control to stop there – to leave her with something. He was not doing well in showing her consideration. “You are beyond compare, Elizabeth,” he told her. “There has never been a more beautiful bride.”

 

James had thought when he had undressed her – he could lead her to the bed and let her have a moment while he prepared himself for bed but Elizabeth had her own ideas. She was ahead of him, her quick fingers returning the favour unfastening his waistcoat and fumbling with his breeches, she did not have any of the struggles he had with her clothing and he let her divest him of his jacket and waistcoat before he caught her up in more kisses and led her to the bed, settling her carefully on the soft new mattress and she immediately made herself comfortable amongst the pillows blinking up at him as she watched him finish stripping down to his shirt.  

Her dark eyes were wide and her golden curls tumbling around her face which had the slightest hint of a blush. James could not help but stare until she blinked up at him. “Are you just going to look?” she said though her boldness made her blush more, the red flushing of her soft skin traversing her cheeks and down her neck disappearing beneath the pale silk of her shift.

He leant to kiss one pink cheek and let his kisses follow the trail of the blush, nudging the neckline of the chemise down and she inhaled sharply at every sensitive spot he lingered on. James wondered how something as simple as a gasp could be so arousing. He paused a moment and then let his hand wander to the lacing of her chemise and glanced at her. “Alright?” he asked and she nodded looking first eager and then slightly hesitant – she almost said something and then she bit her bottom lip. James mentally added that to the list of things that were impossible erotic when Elizabeth did it and abandoned the lace – not if she was at all unsure. Instead, he kissed her, pressing his body against hers and smiling against her mouth when she clung tightly to him.

 

“You must think me silly,” she said suddenly. “I did not know this would be so . . .” she trailed off lost for words before settling on, “overwhelming.”

James relaxes just a little. “We can go as slow as you want,” he said. “Have things entirely as you would like them?”

“I don’t want to do something wrong,” Elizabeth said suddenly. “In the moment. . . not like” she cut that off suddenly, her blush deepening. James frowned. He had meant to leave Theo Groves alone. Elizabeth had made it clear she had been willing with him and he had clearly meant to follow through with marriage if Elizabeth had not made her preference for another man known and so as little as James liked Grove’s behaviour, he could not condemn the man entirely. But if he had taken advantage of Elizabeth and criticised her he would certainly answer for that.

“I am quite sure you did nothing wrong, Elizabeth,” James said sitting up and pulling her to his side. “And if anyone has made you feel you have they shall answer for it, I promise you.”

“I called him James,” Elizabeth blurted, stunning him and answering his lingering curiosity about just how Lt. Groves had been aware of Elizabeth’s preference when the lieutenant had not even made an offer. But he did not know what to say to that before Elizabeth expands on it. “I didn’t even realise so he had to tell me.”

“I see,” James said after a long moment, utterly lost for words and eventually offering. “Well, it is not an exclamation I will object to at the opportune moment?”

“Do you not think me terrible?” Elizabeth said and he could hear the irritation in her tone which he did not seem to be taking her confession seriously. But how could he be anything but reassured by it?

“No,” James said. “I don’t. I cannot think of anything you could do that would make me think you terrible. I love you. So I am glad of it Elizabeth – if it meant you married me and not him.” That at least earned him a smile.

“Well,” she said. “I love you – so I suppose I shall have to be glad of it too,” she said and he kissed her.

“If it makes you feel any better, the first time I was with a woman, I was so drunk I recall none of it,” James offered determined to cheer her while suppressing the sense of horror he feels at bringing up that night at all.

“Really?” Elizabeth, of course, perked up, suddenly interested. “Was it at a party – I’ve never seen you drunk.”

James decides to head off this conversation before he was forced to expand that it was not a party – that it was a brothel and that his elder brother had gotten him stinking drunk and bought him a girl for the occasion of his fifteenth birthday. James would never have gone along with it sober but having woken up still in bed with the young lady he had very clear memories of their subsequent encounters. “Of sorts,” he said. “I was young and foolish.”

“Like me,” she said softly.

“No,” he said not wanting her to feel badly. Not tonight of all nights. “I was much more foolish,” there had been numerous women since though not ones he had paid for.  That hardly compared to a single encounter where she had been _thinking_ of him. The only defence he could offer for his behaviour was that with Elizabeth, he would not be the clumsy boy he had been with the first women he had bedded. “But it hardly matters now, does it? I promise I will never hold it against you.” Elizabeth did not look convinced and he wondered if there was something else. Perhaps his attempt to be rational about this made it seem he did not care for her in the way he should. “As long as you never call me Theo,” he added wondering if teasing might help.

And it did as Elizabeth laughed and kissed him and emboldened by something, leant into him to nip at his neck and suggested, “well why don’t you put your hand up my skirt and find out.”

James had meant to take things slower but it was far too hard to pass up such a direct request and he kissed her again as he slid one hand up the smooth skin of her bare thigh.

 

It was only when he broke the kiss as his hand slid higher – so she could protest if she did not like anything he did that he considered the phrasing of that. Clearly, she meant Groves had had his hand up her skirt when she called him the wrong name. Surely, he would have had his hand up her skirt before bedding her. Surely, he would not have bedded her if she called him another man’s name? But he had thought. . . would she have really have warned him off proposing over some fumbling that he would never have known about if she came to his bed still virgin?

Gentle exploration soon made it apparent that yes, yes she would, Elizabeth’s breath had hitched when he had circled his fingers over her, finding her slick and wanting, and the eyes she had pressed closed with pleasure had flown open wide with shock when he had ghosted his fingers over the entrance to her body finding her still intact.

“James please,” she said. “I want – oh.” James moved his fingers back to where she would want them most ashamed of his own assumptions and determined to make it up to her and he persisted until she arched and squirmed away from his touch but only for a moment before she flung herself at him, peppering him with breathless kisses while she clung to him. “Dear lord,” she said. “James I had _no_ idea.”

 

James laughed and held her tight until her breath steadied – but by then she was running her hands over him, her hand inching down his shirt slowly. She only hesitated a moment before she grasped at his manhood though it seemed an age to him.  “Oh,” she said exploring him but sounding quite disappointed which he could not help but be perturbed by. He had no idea in what way he had let her down and he had no idea how to even _ask_ before she made it quite clear. “I was hoping Lady Mary was lying,” she said. “But I do not see how that can fit without hurting.”

James was relieved and amused and appalled all at once, he was sure her stepmother had only been unkind in preparing Elizabeth for what being a wife entailed. “I can assure you we will fit together,” he said. He leant in and kissed her. “There will be some discomfort,” he said. “But I hope you know I would never hurt you if it could be avoided and I will be as gentle as possible and do my best to make it good for you Elizabeth.”

“And then after will you touch me again?” Elizabeth asked. “Like you did before?”

“As many times, as you like,” James promised. Elizabeth responded by lying back and parting her legs and bracing herself – James sensed Lady Mary at work again and he pulled her back to him flopping back on the pillows so that Elizabeth lay atop him. “I thought perhaps you might like to be on top,” he offered. “So, that you may set the pace.”

“Can I?” Elizabeth was suddenly fascinated with that notion and it only took the slightest guidance for her to be able to position herself and sink onto him slowly her eyes wide and watching him. She winced a little and then shivered when he was in her and stayed as still as she could be. James was unexpectedly grateful – he thought if she moved at all he would spend at once and he sat up to hold her close.

 

“Alright?” James asked and Elizabeth stared at him for a long moment and nodded. “Do you want to move?” he asked and dropped his hands to her hips

“Yes,” Elizabeth said determinedly and batted his hands away. “You said I could set the pace.” And she did – it did not take her long to get the hang of it and the sight of her, the feel of her moving above him took his breath away. But then she paused and shuddered and he felt awful – was she in pain – had this been a poor idea. But only for a moment as she began to work herself against him with a soft sigh that he was quite sure was not pain and he slipped one hand between her legs to encourage her climax and while he tried to watch her as she was overcome the feel of her tightening on him was more than he could handle and he gasped her name as he arched under her and she collapsed on his chest then and shivered until he tugged her close for another kiss, holding her close to him and nuzzling her soft hair.

James ran his hand slowly down her back, “are you alright?”

“More than alright,” she said wriggling against him in a way that was very distracting despite the fact that he had only just had her. “That barely hurt at all,” she told him after a long moment. “Can we try it again with you on top?”

James could not help but be startled and blinked up at her only for her to blush. But she had said she was not hurt and it was their wedding night. So he could not fathom how he could possibly refuse her and he grinned rolled her over so he was on top. “Certainly, my darling,” he said. “Whatever you would like.


	10. Chapter 10

When James’ brother Archibald had married for the first time, his father had pulled strings with the Admiralty board to make sure James was on leave for the wedding. Three days before the wedding he had sat all his sons down and had a talk with them that his elder brothers found amusing and James had found humiliating. (This was the case for much of what his father had to say of course.)

Half an hour of being lectured on the way a wife should be treated compared a woman who was merely a convenient amusement would have been bad enough. It was worse to endure it while his brothers sniggered and insinuated that James had not been near a woman since Archibald had taken him to a brothel and paid for him to be made a man of.

 

It had been mostly true of course but since then James had been aboard ship where the only women he was likely to see were the gunner’s wife and small daughter. What time he had on shore he had chosen not to visit brothels, out of a combination of shame and stubbornness. But he had felt more ashamed that his father felt it was necessary to tell his sons that a true gentleman did not claim his rights more than two or three times a week. That gently born women would not enjoy the act and decent men did not force it on them more than necessary – though of course they should insist on at least that much. Women should know their place and their duty and of course, there were children to be considered.

Edward had claimed it seemed damned inconvenient – when he got married he wasn’t going to pay a wife’s allowance and for a mistress and his wife would do what he damn well told her too. Archibald had been less bothered. “I’m not marrying the chit for her looks,” he had said loudly. “More teeth than sense and always smiling.” James thought that unfair – Archie’s wife to be did smile over much but it was a nervous smile and he could hardly blame her for being nervous of marrying his brother. The net effect of the talk was that James had spent the week he had spent at home for the wedding, detesting his brothers, unable to look his mother in the eye and thinking that if he ever got married he would treat his wife decently.

 

* * *

Now that James was a husband it occurred to him he had failed entirely by his father’s standards. Of course, since then James had had enough discreet affairs to know that women of quality could certainly enjoy the marriage act if they were treated as an equal partner by a man who cared for their needs. But even knowing that and knowing _Elizabeth_ had not prepared him for just how enthusiastic his young wife would be. He had assumed she would want a few days to recover from the wedding night but had been proved thoroughly wrong.

 

Elizabeth had spent the first week of their marriage innocently asking to try one thing or another that had come into her head. It had taken her less than a day to abandon nightwear and she was so lovely unclothed she had stolen his breath away. And then, of course, she had stolen his nightshirt because as she had told him, she wanted to _see_ too. James had explored every inch of her soft skin with his hands and his mouth and coaxed her to pleasure again and again before he took her.

They had not gone on a wedding trip or honeymoon but they had barely left her bed, which had rapidly become _their_ bed, for weeks. One evening they had been drowsing after when James had tried to consider if perhaps he should give her some respite – Elizabeth was so very new to this after all and he had tried to gently suggest it. “I can sleep in my own room, you know,” he had told her earnestly. He had her in his arms and hated the very notion of not having her close but tried not to show it. He restrained himself from kissing her by burying his face in her soft hair, inhaling the scent of her perfume and the citrus the maids washed her hair in. “You have only to say, Elizabeth, if anything is too much for you.”

Elizabeth had pushed him down into her pillow and made a rude noise – she kissed down his throat and the started nipping at him, he knew she was deliberately leaving marks – he could not bring himself to care. He could always wear a cravat. “Pfft,” she said. “Why on earth would I allow that – I am going to have enough lonely nights when you sail. You will stay right here every night or I shall . . .” She had paused then and furrowed her brow – deep in thought as she attempted to summon up a dire enough threat to impress the seriousness of this upon him.

James had laughed and kissed her.

“Duly noted, Mrs Norrington,” he said alight with happiness even as she pouted at him.

 

They would probably still be in bed now if one evening when in the drawing room when Elizabeth had ended up in his lap, kissing him as if her life depended on it. James had been quite unable to help himself from pointed out that they did not have to wait until they were abed to enjoy each other. Elizabeth had blinked at him, considered for the briefest of moments and taken his words to heart, immediately unfastening his breaches and lifting her skirts so she could slip herself onto him. James had been grateful for a number of things that night – his darling wife, her lack of regard for propriety and the current fashion for low cut necklines.

Of course, once Elizabeth had a notion in her head there was no stopping her and having behaved so in the drawing room; she had come up with a challenge whereby they would enjoy every room in the house in a similar fashion. James had – by dint of rather embarrassing pleading - managed to talk her down to the rooms that had doors that locked. He had only just hired this staff – he did not want to have to start again if they scandalised _all_ the maids.

 

* * *

One night they had been walking in the garden, taking the night air. This had been Elizabeth’s notion and she had a knowing smile and pink tinge to her cheeks even now that James half alert and half aroused. It did not make for a comfortable walk. James liked to think that he would draw the line at bedding his wife in the garden but if Elizabeth wanted that his track record in refusing her was not ideal.

Whatever their plans were, they were derailed by finding one of the junior maids in a rather passionate embrace with the second footman. They were so caught up in each other they did not notice they had been spotted. Though James really thought he should have words – at least with the footman. Elizabeth cajoled James in the house before he could intervene. “Don’t be mean – James, they get little enough privacy as it is,” she told him pulling him close to grant him a kiss of his own. “It is not as if we can object to the principle – we were only going to do the same.”

James had been pretending very hard they were not but could not bring himself to speak the lie out loud.  “That is not the same,” he said. “You are my _wife_ , Elizabeth.” A statement that earned him a delighted smile which was quite distracting – and gratifying that stating the simple truth could please her so. “And it is _our_ garden,” James added, but he was unable as always to refuse her.  His arguments sounded weak even to his ears. “The housekeeper will have fits if she finds out.”

 

“I will speak to Anna tomorrow,” Elizabeth said, as she drew him into the drawing room. “Give her some advice about _whose_ garden this is,” she was teasing him now. “But it’s unfair really - it is not as if they can get married, being in service.” James did not know what to say to that – it was, of course, true that being in service restricted a lot of freedoms but it was secure employment and competition for posts was fierce. Elizabeth wasn’t quite done, though. She paused as if considering for a moment and then told him. “When I was sixteen and I thought, I could not bear Lady Mary a moment longer I told my maid I was going to run away and change my name and go into service until I was old enough to have my mother’s money,” James said nothing for a moment – he was too horrified by the notion that Elizabeth had felt that unwelcome in her own home. “Estrella nearly laughed herself sick,” Elizabeth added. “And then had to pretend she was coughing and said perhaps I might struggle with the hours.”

 

James managed a very weak smile and then kissed her hair, drawing her into his arms. “Well I am _very_ glad you did not run away,” he said. The notion horrified him but he had learnt well enough that his answering her comment about Lady Mary would only put Elizabeth on the defensive – even now they were married. Occasionally, Elizabeth would mention her stepmother - always in a manner that revealed yet more of the woman’s bad behaviour. But any reassurance he made or offer to discuss matters with her father would have Elizabeth in a temper for hours. So, he returned to the subject at hand – reluctantly. James hardly thought she should be discussing the maid's love life either – no doubt it would make the poor girl self-conscious to have her know her employers had seen her. “Perhaps Mrs Clark could have a word with Anna for you?” he suggested.

“You may as well dismiss Anna and Henry yourself,” Elizabeth said frankly. “Mrs Clark is very strict you know, she is always looking at me as if she thinks she knows better than me. It’s very tiresome. No – _I_ will talk to Anna. Don’t worry I’m not going to tell we wanted the garden for our own use, you know.”

 

James could try to pretend that hadn’t concerned him but he could imagine Elizabeth saying it too easily so he did not. “I hope you are finding Mrs Clark is listening to you,” he said instead. He did not like the idea of Elizabeth being ignored. She had had enough of that with her stepmother. The housekeeper had not been his choice – she had come with the property but her references had been excellent and so he had taken her on without much thought but that could be rethought if necessary.

“Oh yes,” Elizabeth said, reassuringly. “She’s far too proper to do anything but listen to me. I am the _lady_ of the house after all. She just looks like she wishes she didn’t have to.” Elizabeth took his arm “Don’t fret,” she told him. “I am perfectly capable of running a house and dealing with Mrs Clark.” There was an undercurrent of hurt underneath that reassurance.

 

“I did not mean to imply otherwise,” James told her at once. In truth, Elizabeth had done more with the house than he had expected which he thought was partly just because she could – she was determined to put her own stamp on the household - and partly because Lady Mary had repeatedly publicly doubted Elizabeth’s household management skills in the run up to the wedding. “You have done a wonderful job with the house, I cannot imagine how it could be any more perfect.” Which Lady Mary would see for herself when they hosted her and the Governor.

“Ha,” said Elizabeth. “All I have done is a bit of decorating and menu selection. And I am sure when Father visits, _she_ will come along just to try and spoil his visit and pick fault no matter what I do and if I argue with any of it, she will just claim I am ill mannered. But it will be nice to see Father.” This James could not let go.

“She will not,” James said. “If she is at all impolite to you Elizabeth I shall say something and let’s see if she will call me ill-mannered.”

“Well, that would be something to see,” Elizabeth said, nuzzling his neck. This was the best response James had had when discussing Lady Mary and he could not help but feel buoyed Elizabeth would finally let him defend her at last. Even a little. He tangled his hands in her soft curls and kissed her until she pulled away from him, her dark eyes soft as she regarded him.  “Are you going to take me to bed?” she asked, bold as always in her want for him which thrilled him beyond words. “I think we’ve done this room. Or shall we see if the garden has become available?”

James laughed and scooped her into his arms to carry her upstairs. “I think bed sounds like a very good idea indeed.”  


	11. Chapter 11

It was not often Elizabeth woke before her husband. Military life had apparently conditioned James to be used to rising at the crack of dawn so she had only woken before him once in their brief marriage. That time she had not thought to take advantage at all but had only snuggled into his arms and went back to sleep. Today was different somehow. The sun was fierce outside their window, bathing James in golden light and he had tossed off most of the covers in the night – or perhaps she had kicked them off before they slept and neither of them had felt chill enough to reach for them when entangled in each other’s arms.

Elizabeth had never felt so free to examine James – she had insisted of course that he be naked if she was but he while he had looked his fill while telling her over and over she was beautiful he could be quite bashful if she tried to be complimentary. If she even looked at him too long he could be very distracting with his hands.

But there was no-one to stop her looking now as James slumbered on, unaware of her gaze. She ran one hand over his chest and pulled away the covers entirely. Well – she could not help but notice not _all_ of him was asleep. Of course, that was quite common – that James would wake wanting her. It had scandalised her a little at first but now she did not quite see how she would do without his early morning attentions once he returned to duty- she couldn’t even bring herself to grumble if James woke her too early. He was entirely too good with his hands. And his mouth. Elizabeth had not been entirely innocent when they married but she still blushed scarlet at the very thought of what James could do with his mouth. Theo’s fascination with her neckline had still never given any idea that what else was possible.

 

It was odd though because she _should_ have known. She had known that a woman could please a man in that way. She had run off to the docks enough as a child – before the arrival of Lady Mary anyway. The women who plied their trade were not discrete. If they realised who she was they would try to make her blush by calling rude things. She had not always known the words but she had still had Will for a friend back then and she could make Will explain anything eventually by repeating it until he would cave and stammer an explanation. (Or on one occasion she had resort to threatening to ask her father and saying she had heard such things from him.) But that one had been plain enough.

So, of course, she had offered to please James that way after he had startled her by kissing between her legs until she had felt wrung out with pleasure. James had declined. It was not the sort of pleasure a man expected from his wife, he said.

“I know it is a doxy’s trick,” Elizabeth had told him to exacerbate his horror. “But it feels so splendid when you do kiss me there. Couldn’t I try?” James had said no.

 

But he had wanted to say yes. Elizabeth was sure of it. He had been tempted if only for a moment. She had seen it on his face before he kissed her and bore her down to the bed to slide himself inside her which of course had distracted her utterly. And she didn’t see why she shouldn’t please him with her mouth – it was not as if she wanted payment for it so it was hardly whorish. Whores probably did lots of things married couples did. That was the whole point of them surely. It hardly seemed fair that made things off limits. Of course, some people said it was sinful for women to enjoy the marriage bed at all but if that was the case Elizabeth was already doomed and might as well do whatever she wanted anyway.

And now here he was – spread out nude before her to try anything she wanted. Well as long as she got the nerve up before he woke. She leant over and brushed a brief kiss to his lips – he murmured her name in his sleep, his lips curving into a smile. The sight warmed her heart and confirmed to her that there was nothing wrong with her plan and she shifts down the bed running her hand over the hard muscles of his chest and then taking his manhood in hand to stroke him. Now she was just being silly – if she did not try it now he would wake up and forbid her because it was improper.

 

She pressed a kiss to him at first – then licked at him while her hand explored him still. His manhood twitched in her hand and James’ stirred a little. Elizabeth knew he would wake soon now and so before he woke and forbade her to attend to him in this manner she bent her head and took him in her mouth.

James arched under her as she ran her tongue over him – she wasn’t entirely sure what he liked but she supposed that was a good sign. Of course, while kissing and licking worked for her – that wasn’t exactly what the doxies at the docks had implied. It was about sucking apparently.  So, she tried that and then he blinked down at her as her attention woke him and seemed almost startled. Elizabeth lapped at him and then sucked harder which made him groan.  “ _Christ_ – Elizabeth,” he said and she could only feel smug to have forced that from him and then he had a hand tangled in her hair and for all she wanted this she was persuaded to release him and look guiltily up at him.

“Am I doing it wrong?” she asked concerned.

 

“I have told you – you do not have to,” James told her – there was a tone in his voice – a neediness Elizabeth had not heard from him before and she liked that very much. She giggled and licked at him again – he bucked his hips and she could hear a tightness in his breathing that only makes her more determined.

“I know that I do not _have_ to,” Elizabeth told him. “I _want_ to. But I do not have any practice like you so you will just have to put up with my working it out on you.” She got back to it James groaned wordlessly and there was nothing more from him that wordless gasps until after a long moment he was fussing with her hair again and gasping her name and telling her to _move_. She did not and then she belatedly realised why as he came in her mouth startling her. She coughed a little pulling away and wiping her mouth as discreetly as she could on the covers. James was breathing hard and looked a little stunned but when she lay down beside him, he froze for a long moment before he pulled her against him and kissed her hair. “Are you cross with me?” she asks. She thought she had done well but he seemed so awkward.

“Of course, not,” James said. “Perhaps with myself. I used to have some self-control but you’ve done away with it entirely, my dear.”

“Oh good,” she said cheekily. “Your self-control is no fun at all.” James finally relaxed and laughed.

“You madam will be the death of me.” He kissed her and pressed her down into the mattress. “And now it is my turn to practice.” Elizabeth squirmed in anticipation yet she couldn’t help but tease him a little more.

“You do not have to,” she assured him wide eyed. “Seeing as it’s so wicked.” James laughed, as he kissed down her body.  

“Perhaps I will be wicked,” James told her brushing a kiss to her hip, then her thigh but she only had to plead and then he stopped teasing and Elizabeth was lost to pleasure and another day was happily spent in bed.

 

 

* * *

Two days later Elizabeth did not spend the morning in bed with James for the first time since they married. She had been up since dawn fretting and fussing at the staff. Her Father and stepmother were coming for tea and no matter how James comforted her she could not help but feel nervous.

She wanted to impress her father. And no matter how little she liked it – he did listen to Lady Mary. And Elizabeth had never impressed her. Not ever.

 

Lady Mary had been nice to Elizabeth in front of her father when they first married, Elizabeth had even behaved a little. Her father had pleaded for her to give Lady Mary a chance and after weeks of sulking Elizabeth had agreed. She had thought perhaps it would be nice to have someone to take her shopping who wasn’t a maid or a governess. To organise her debut. Her father was always so very busy and he had said to her again and again, that he was marrying Lady Mary so Elizabeth would have someone to arrange her debut and her season and help her. It had been just before their first shopping trip that Lady Mary had come to Elizabeth’s room while she was dressing. She had looked Elizabeth up and down and sighed and declared it was just as well Elizabeth was well dowered given what she had to work with. No-one wanted a wife as skinny as a boy. Later Elizabeth had realised this had been an early attempt to get Elizabeth to accept Cuthbert or presumably some other weedy relative of Lady Mary’s. She had a veritable battalion of poor relations.

It had rapidly become apparent that any maternal interest Lady Mary had shown (or claimed) had been in the interest in winning over Elizabeth’s father. Once she was securely married Lady Mary did not feel the need to keep that up. And yet she was never entirely disinterested. That would have been better - than picking at Elizabeth constantly and insulting her and forcing awful clothing on her. Then had come the confiscating of Elizabeth’s books and ruining of her friendship with Will. Then the pushing back of her debut and Cuthbert’s visit.  

 

The only time her father had ever put his foot down was to forbid Lady Mary to strap Elizabeth’s hands for cheek. And to send Cuthbert away she supposed. He had never seen how awful Lady Mary was. So, while he had seemed concerned just before the wedding she could see him going away thinking Elizabeth was a poor housekeeper if Lady Mary turned up her nose at everything.

Elizabeth was determined to give her no such reason. She had been to the kitchens and supervised the poor cook when she was making the petit fours and no doubt the housekeeper would be appalled to find her below stairs. Still, she had added ghastly orange macarons to her father’s favourite biscuits and then had sent Anna to dust the drawing room again.

 

James had persuaded her out of the kitchen eventually. “Elizabeth,” he had said. “I don’t think your father will care about the cakes. He is coming to see _you_.” He kissed her hair and Elizabeth smiled at him – she did not mean to worry him. “And if you look this fretful when he gets here – I think he will be so convinced I am a terrible husband it will not occur to him to think about your household management skills.” Elizabeth had been set to argue with him – she was quite sure her father could think no such thing – her dalliance with Theo Groves had only made James, even more, a paragon of virtue in her father’s eyes but before she could James had added. “And while Lady Mary is usually unkind to you - it is hardly in her best interests to make it seem your education in running a household was insufficient. Considering its source.”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Well I certainly learnt how not to treat servants from her,” Elizabeth said. Their cook had put up with her fussing and watching – at the King’s House, the cook had threatened to walk out if Lady Mary put a foot in the kitchen to criticise again. Not that Elizabeth was supposed to know that but the servants had always talked to her there. Not here where they worked for _her_. That was something to get used to. “And no-one with sense could think you a terrible husband,” she added, reaching for his hand. “Anyone could see how happy I am with you. Lady Mary would likely approve much more if you were a terrible husband. She’s much more pleasant when she gets to crow over being right.”

“Well she will just have to live with being wrong,” James told her firmly. “If the choice is between you being happy or running the household well, I would choose your happiness every time. And I have no doubt your father would make the exact same choice.”

Elizabeth bit her lip and said nothing more. If she did James would fret over her all day but if her father really thought that way, he might not have married Lady Mary, to begin with.

 

In the end, all her fussing was for nought. Lady Mary did not accompany her father on his visit. Her father made excuses for her – not that Elizabeth cared one whit that she was not there.

Her father sat to tea with them and beamed at her. “You seem very settled,” he said. “And you are so grown up. It’s hard to believe my little girl has her own household now.”

“Elizabeth is doing a wonderful job running the house,” James said. Elizabeth tried not to feel guilty – he had hired all the staff and all she had done was she had fuss about with the menus. But still, if it was all James wanted then surely, she was doing a good job. James carried on. “I am grateful every day to have her as my wife and assure you I intend to see to her contentment in every way.”

Elizabeth knew James’ compliment was only meant in a proper way but she could not help but blush a little at that. Hopefully, her father would merely think she had developed a bashful streak at the compliment and not have any clue that she was thinking of all the myriad ways James had seen to her _contentment_.

 

“James is being kind,” Elizabeth said – because he was and she wanted him to know she knew that and for her father to see what a good husband he was. “I’ve hardly had to do anything yet but the staff are very good– but I mean to make him a good wife and make you proud – Father. You mustn’t worry about me.”

“Elizabeth – I am always proud of you,” her father said. “Very proud. I am sorry if that has not been plain.” He patted her hand rather helplessly. It had not, of course, been plain – he had listened to Lady Mary so often, Elizabeth had sometimes wondered if he considered her as much of a hopeless case as her stepmother insisted she was. But there was little use in saying that and ruining a visit that was currently Lady Mary free.

 

“Come on,” Elizabeth standing and forcing her father and James to follow suit. “Why don’t I show you the house.” James made some excuses about paperwork for the fort and left her alone to give her father the tour.

Her father made approving noises all through the house and it was when they were walking in the garden he finally changed the topic. “It has been nice,” her father said. “Having some time just us.”

Elizabeth paused. “Yes,” she said. “I have missed it too.” It was not as pointed as it could have been but it was not _her_ fault they had no time just as father and daughter.

“Elizabeth,” her father said haltingly. “I know things have been difficult. But I meant it for the best. I truly thought that Mary would be helpful to you – you grew up so fast and work has always taken so much of my time.”

“I know,” Elizabeth said. Her father had meant well. Of course, he had. And while she would not excuse him entirely for his poor choice, she was too happy to hold it against him currently. “I always understood why you did it, Father.” And she had. It was the fact he had never seemed to take her side that had truly frustrated her. “I know Lady Mary has been a help to you.” She may not have been a very good stepmother but she was an excellent governor’s wife. Elizabeth could not help a little dig. “But if her social schedule doesn’t always allow her to accompany you when you call. I cannot say I will object.”

“Well,” her father said. “She is so very busy – I am sure that can be arranged.”

Elizabeth smiled. It would be enough to have her father to herself some of the time. Especially as he was proud of her – and hopefully would remain so even when Lady Mary was here disapproving.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading - any comments and feedback are very much appreciated!


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